the light on the dark side of me

move along.

2007-02-16T09:51:00.000+08:00

goodbye.
i've moved on to better things : all about the word play.

being the sentimental fool i am. i couldn't drop it all.

ad verbitum.

silver defence

2007-02-11T12:02:00.000+08:00

wth.
what is the point that they are trying to make by interviewing supposed "ah bengs" who apparently know their 5 core values.
civil[pronounced sil-ver] defence
psychological defence
social defence
economic defence
military defence
" like the palm of our hand..."

simi?
right.hur.
i must be a failure of the singapore education system then. i could hardly remember the aspects of singapore's total defence.
time to join the ranks of ah bengs liao.

dam paiseh lor.

its hawt.

2007-02-10T22:14:00.000+08:00

its hawt braving the crowds of chinatown(for the first time during cny)
yes . do laugh at how much of a non-life i've been leading. it was my first time going to alot of places last year.. including zouk and chompchomp. ah yes. it is the truth.
but it ain't hawt to do it after surviving on a couple hours of sleep the night before and then spending a couple of hours in the sun playing floorball in the afternoon.

singapore seems to have gone through the cycle of seasons. winter/spring and then now its summer. hell lot of sun with really little cloud cover.hawt.
and so continues my continued process of looking non-chinese.
team law. yay. 3rd for ifg frisbee.
hawt stuff.

//you were fashionably sensitive
But too cool to care.
You stood in my doorway, with nothing to say
Besides some comment on the weather

those dark eyes and careless hair.

2007-02-08T19:04:00.000+08:00

While at starbucks...

It is because my brain refuses to absorb anymore constructive, useful info that i end up people watching. Asthetically pleasing things excite me. Not that there are many life ones around me at the moment. I end up noticing the colours that peoeple wear, almost under the influence of thesartorialist. [don't you ever feel that life is just a string of near misses and almosts and accidents and coincidences. what do you do to swing it either way?]

the earrings that i've now converted to a flimsy bag charm. It actually looks kinda nice. I try to recall how I lost the other halves with vague success. But two distinct halves come together and look good. ah, like other matters. but I digress.

the pink stripes on the lavender. nice cuff links. oh wait, i take back what i said about not having any life samples of wonderful asethetics. the girl next to this lavender guy oozing with metro-ness, complete with the slingbag. she is one hawt chick. My brain has degenerated, I only process what i see in front of me and nothing else.

here's to old friends..

It felt like nothing had changed. It was the same easy banter, the same mannerisms, the same nonsense. We just forgot when we graduated and we got our years wrong. It has been that long since the pinafored days of running down corridors and pissing teachers off and writing regular notes to each other in class.
Tonight made me realise how much I missed an old friend. I just wonder why we never did this earlier. 4 years worth packed into 1 evening.
From that quiet little corner I found with our cod and duck, over to TCC for dessert where we got chased out eventually, then residing in ling's car.
We just got older and wiser with more dreams and wants. the connection still there. oh how we hold on to the cherished moments and reach out with our hearts in our hands. I understand.

guys, treat the girls right. its a game we all play.

To Wong-the-woman-ling(to the power of 2):
i -heart-you. and i'll see you soon, hopefully. i'd gladly be your valentine if only you weren't half way around the world ;). *muaks*

pardon me, while i get sentimental tonight.

//Sometimes you win or sometimes you lose
I don't wanna lose you
Don't even own you
I just wanna stay right here
Until never dawns yeah

summer skin.

2007-01-31T23:55:00.000+08:00

Of late, I've seemed to have a second go at things.

2007 is essentially a year of birthday parties. A year essentially of social gatherings where you pick up where you've left off with old friends, exchange numbers and then start talking with the people you used to know only by name and used to recognise by face. Never said hi. but hey oh. time to exchange numbers. It feels like a second orientation.

mag and yanlings' stripes and cubes 21st @ SRC where i was completely knackered and burnt from wakeboarding earlier in the day. but yay to meeting RGS friends after eons.
It has been awhile since I last dressed up proper for anything. I remember getting quite tired of having to do so during the last hols for partying, dinners and what not. Slippers and shorts beckoned instead.
So yesterday was a pretty much happy break in between casual affairs. what can I say but dinner was absolutely smashing. I really appreciate mike banning me from driving and insisting on coming to get me , considering the amount of alcohol that I consumed by the end of the night: moet (on an empty stomach and during dinner), white wine, mai tai, b52 shooter.. it was a weird tipsy feeling that I had. a weird mix of alcohol caffiene and much sugar from dessert.
and i wonder how we all made it to school/work today.

shiming's 21st @ il lido
[i -heart- this place. the food is fantastic, the setting perfect, heard that dinner by the setting sun is even better and well.. the price is fantastic as well. but really, smashing date place if you have the moolah to spare]

where the guys look suave and the girls look demure

the lucky birthday boy

with tracy

with mike

tracy/jinghao/mike

weiyang whom I have not seen since JC
cafe del mar... which is my perrfect chill out spot

i heart the sand, the sun and the sea..( shites i could be the perfect propaganda spouting machine for the navy. )which explains why my mum has since given up on me and my forays into looking non-chinese during school term...
and my persistent insistence on us getting out into the sun and wakeboard. it has since been 6 months since we agreed on this. yes it takes half a year to get us to go wakeboard.

the girls were estatic. ours. and yes it actually had a name:
i like this photo muchly.all together now.
and we all can look pro. [but we so need to go back again and be at least becky's standard]
and this is the story of jared
jared looks pro// jared waves and decides to wakeboard with one hand// rope goes slack on jared//jared in water

* ok fine.. it didn't exactly happen in this order. i pieced the photos together.
obligatory photo whoring
and so concludes a post of much fun joy peace and laughter.
i love how the weather is turning out these days. much sun, and cool wind.
i love the crisp smell of the night now. the cold air.
i'm learning to love myself.

//this time
we take it slow

puff of logic.

2007-01-27T22:45:00.000+08:00

Miserable weather.
Lousy day.
Foul mood.

Weather like this should only be justified when tucked nicely in bed or with much loving, both of much were unfortunately non-existant.

I'm starting to see where the stereotype of lawyers has its roots:
a course where you learn to make use of those around you and to manipulate. the ends justify the means.
and another where you just become more cynical and start to enjoy the questioning and banging of the gahmen. its cool to be the rebel.
And then, the money-grubbing scrooge. where nights of reading (flipping) through your constitutional law text book has you learning an important lesson: that it is absolutely essential to be armed with a roll of scotchtape every single time, to hold your book in place. I seem to find new pages to tape up at every single read.
Oh no, I wouldn't dream of buying a new one.

Not when books cost a 101 buckeroos.

oh twice as much aint twice as good
And can't sustain like one half could
It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees

Oh gravity, stay the hell away from me

could you stay..

2007-01-25T22:09:00.000+08:00

I reckon my attention span of late is akin to that poor praying mantis which got fried on the roof of Jared's car.

The weather has been fickle, as like many other things. Sun and then rain and then the sun again.. When the sky turns grey and the temperature drops so does energy level and then the angsting starts. I'm assuming that it takes every last ounce of effort in people to haul their asses to school on a rainy morning for a 9 am lecture. Trust me the thought of making a diversion to somewhere where there was hot coffee and breakfast crossed my mind many times.

Then there's lots of hurling of vulgarities in the car on the way to lunch.. lots of shit stirring (hurhur).. but somehow I have friends who find enough energy in them to man handle me out of my seat into the student lounge to play pool.

"wentu.. lets go play pool.. 15 min only"
"no"
"lets go now"
"nooooo......"
*my phone and wallet get taken away*
"ok byeee.. you guys can have my stuff"
*my laptop gets closed shut*
"nooooooooooooooo.... I don't know how to play pool!" (which is the truth. I only played pool once waaay back when I was still in my JC orientation days. i'm bloody pathetic I know)
*at this point in time, I get plucked out of my seat and hauled away....

A sidenote to self and to my knee: I'll treat you well.. get you a massage or something but pleasseeeee don't give up on me. pretty pretty please..

nothing feels the same now

2007-01-19T21:35:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to you!! i know that this post is a week late, but heyyyy... when you've hit that beeg number of 21, ~~(it all goes down hill from here)~~, you know you're really a big boy now. Hope you had a good one and you have an even smashing year ahead my dear.i'm sorry that it turned out looking like it was my birthday instead of yours. next time, we should really align everything and even out in accordance to the birthday boy.

with the resident sweet-boy, nic.

silly face with pam, way back from those JC days.
***
I know that it has been awhile since I've last updated this place but its been 3 weeks since the start of the new year and I'm starting to ask myself the all too familiar question of where my time has disappeared to. School/gymming and running and killing my joints in the process/tuition/going out... and then time amazes me by running out, and yet, there are times when I amaze myself with the way I use time. like how i run off to the gym for some me-time in between lessons. And how time is cruel.. alas, and i'm getting old. Because my joints ache a couple of hours after frisbee.

ever got the feeling that sometimes, somethings, you're afraid of jinxing them? wanting to take hold of something and yet totally wary of doing so.. and then you start to second- guess and you're not quite sure what to make out of the year to come. not emo, i'm sure. just amorphous
( oooh. big word, from those law cases....)

well, cheers to more fun peace and joy in a place atop a hill where the people run wild and free.(not)

//Now, if I wrote you a love note
And made you smile with every word I wrote (what would you do?)
Would that make you want to change your scene
And wanna be the one on my team

sweet dreams are made of these

2007-01-05T11:46:00.000+08:00

I think we did RGS proud ( we followed the ever trusty RGS cookbook and out came masterpieces).
I sincerely believe that we do have a domestic future. Oh yes, we do.

Nutella cupcakes
almond-cereal-choc-chip-m n m- cookies
To quote Carrie, "everything gao gao!"
Eat your heart out!

//Paint me on canvas so I become,
What you could never be

I dare you to tell me to walk through fire
wear my soul and call me a liar

hips don't lie

2007-01-05T02:10:00.000+08:00

Because we're only young once.. watch last week's backseat anthem

you had me at hello.

2007-01-01T14:15:00.000+08:00

happy new year folks!

There was this one girl at chijmes, clearly gone from all her boozing, hardly walking straight, much less dancing without tripping. She just broke up with her boyfriend, and as she hugged wing, she said that she was really happy that she was rid of him and yet when she had her arm around my neck, she told me a different thing.

" i still love him alot."

What could I say but, "new year, new start. you'll find someone better."
It wasn't that I approved of her getting herself pissed drunk and dancing all over the place but I couldn't help but feel for her. I don't know where her friends were, save for this nice nepalese dude who was taking care of her
It seemed like something out of those soppy movies, the sultry sounds of the cuban band muted for a bit, while something clicked within,
For every happy moment out there, there's someone with a less than perfect one.

I remember telling myself the same thing last year. "new year, new start" everything a clean slate. I was so goddamn confident.
And then life put me right back into my place.
love,friends,family, life.
There was this one time when I wondered if it would ever end. Bright sparks never seemed to last.

I've had enough of emo. Its time for happy.
But.. there's always a but ain't there. I'm afraid. honestly I am.
For all the times that I tell myself stuff like" babe, you've only one life, live it.", I'm afraid that I'll screw up.again. Sometimes I think I try to protect myself and then wrap myself up in multiple layers.
I'm wary, of embracing life. I want to. But I feel vulnerable.

Happy 2007.
Its still one life. my life.

// Hit me hard enough to wake me
And lead me wild to your dark roads

Headlights... before me
So beautiful, so clear
Reach out... and take it
Cos I'm so tired of all ths fear

burn baby burn.

2006-12-29T11:03:00.000+08:00

After not seeing my lovely baobei for ages, it was time to paint the town red. It's been 6 years *ahem* (you traitor. haha) my girl, and we've both grown up, experienced so much, set our sights on higher stuff but some things don't change, like how you are the BEST photo whoring partner ever, everytime i'm with you, I follow suit and we take 10 photos at a go of our crazy faces.
There'll be the odd sane photo but it belies crazy-assed stuff we do. like dancing salsa in the middle of the bar, and we weren't even all that high YET. and we were yet to get to phuture to boogie the place down.

But it completely went downhill after that, after that girl da-ed a couple of glasses of bombay sapphire/cranberry mix and me martinis and eventually I was forced to da as well and i got horribly bloated. and thus started the night's ritual of blasting music with the windows down each time we got into the car and singing and dancing along. don't ask me how we did it. there's is one video that you totally need to check out. hurhur.
I recall tellin wing when i got to velvet: "errr.. i think i'm effing high"

I finally got my phuture fix!! it wasn't too crowded, the music was damn awesome! and they played tokyo drift/my love/sexyback and all my favourite clubbing songs.

to my other baobei in london, we didn't leave eeyore out of the fun. and thanks once again. i love him muchly.
and eeyore becomes the spokesperson for toyota...

and goes on the ride of his life... because of crazy ass people in the car.... its a wonder his tail didn't fly out of the window.

wing and her bowl of ba chor me. woman!!! i still don't believe you have never eaten this in your entire life and you don't know the difference between mee pok /mee kia /kuay teow etc....

but i love you still.. *hugs* just gotta stop ganging with outsiders to bully me!!!!

its yet that time of the year to take stock again and make new year wishes.
i'll give thanks to everything that has happened and made me a better person.
i'll give thanks for friends to keep me going and friends to love.
i'll give thanks for a sweet ending to the year

//Oh yes I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I've been prayin' for
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day

back from the land of dodgy sausages

2006-12-25T15:47:00.000+08:00

and so i'm back from bangkok which i sorely miss even though i didn't get my tan at huahin and we decided to cut one night short since we were all raring to shop.i didn't realize it would be so COLD over there but the weather was fantastic. we were all going "WAH, got sun!" on the plane over there.
it was tres awesome going on our 2 meal diet just to shop like crazy.. it was really no holds barred shopping. and thanks to rod and joel for being the girls' porters and being so patient when we hog the toilets.
and to nana, much love. from bullying me over crayons when we were kids to sharing my eyeliner pencil. you're a real awesome holiday buddy. luv ya babe.

so here's to more holidays and new friends. :)

fisherman's village resort which was reaalllllyyyy nice. :)

huahin where we went jet ski-ing. and rod and i were SHIVERING because it was so bloody cold and we got washed off our jet ski once. but it was real awesome sitting at the back of the hotel's pick up and soaking up the sun. holla.

my obligatory beer advert. heh. it was corona at tioman the last time.
MBK: where we bought crazy number of dvds.
yummy looking veggie!(haha. more like kuey) //my obligatory shot with a carrot//dunkin donuts!!!!! rod n i took damn long to choose our donuts and one box and it only cost 4 bucks!

and its crazy shopping in bkk. its like orchard road. eerywhere u turn you hear singaporeans. and you won't believe who i met at suan lum night market. seow yixin and hanyan!!!!! like omg...we were pratically screaming.

street food!!! beef noodles!!!!! and this is attempt number 3 at finding decent tasting sausages and which of course failed again. tasted damn weird. (the first 2 times, german sausages failed, weird black pepper fish failed as well)

this prob ranks as my favourite pic out of the whole trip. looks like something out of a food show. but the beef noodles were really awesome. i peppered mine with chilli and ended up crying after that. but i still finished the entire bowl of soup. thank goodness for 7-11 just behind.

swissotel nai lert park: it was totally awesome!thanks to rod and his lobang. :D loved the toilet. which the girls always hogged. heh. this was before we thrashed the place.
the lobby which was really really nice.

and to all law folks, this deserves a picture of its own.

i like this photo. the girls outside our room before ms cheng went to meet her boy. :) love the lights.

the boys at the lobby:

sirocco where i happily sneaked photos even when we weren't supposed to. rod and i were freezing our asses off again. joel's a weird person. he wasnt even cold.// boys and their emo shots.

vertigo at the 62nd floor of banyan tree where the wind was just as bad and rod n i froze AGAIN:

our supper for the night. -beams- we bought marshmellows to throw in to our hot milo. we actually intended to roast marshmellows using a lighter. but i guess that didn't exactly materialize.last burst of shopping frenzy:
inspired by southpark.

our last night in bkk. rod couldn't join us because that boy smartly had miso soup at the same time with cold cereal at breakfast that morning. tsk.
i'm totally happy with my boots! no more complaining and making noise that i want a pair each time i see one in town. yayness :) plus they're real comfy and cheap.
when i got back and my dad saw my boots he went:
"eh.. all ready to burn the roads i see"
my dad amuses me sometimes.

cabbages and condoms:

this was a real cute place! (pictures say it all)
bed supper club:

bed supper club was pretty awsome.. loved the bartenders and their cute tees. the first guy was adorable, trying to say shen dan jie -blank blank-. i helped him complete the phrase and then he asked me in wide eyed wonder. "erm, what does it mean??"
then the second bar tender gave all 3 of us shots of anna's leftover cocktail and then he took extra effort to make my hockney. you'll never in your entire life get such awesome service at zouk and plus, the drinks were really really awesome stuff.

i love love the pillows... ms cheng fell asleep twice. heh. though it was pretty disturbing having 2 couples getting it on next to us... (1 les, 1 straight for that matter)

my dear girl went completely mad in 7-11. she filled up practically the whole basket with the intent on buying all things thai since it was our last night there. i never knew we could do a supermarket sweep in 7-11.

last day at the airport:

(check out my bunny tee!!)
with my thai relatives whom i have not seen in 10 years. they were really sweet.. coming to our hotel so early in the morning to pick us up to send us to the airport. kap kun ka
rod and i with our puma bags at bkk airport before our flight, where the 4 of us were trying to use up our coins. so out came anna's coin pouch on the table and between the 4 of us we managed to get enough coins to buy 2 bottles of water and 3 cups of diary queen.. and we ended up being the last to get on our flight. :P

the loot of which i'm crazily insanely happy about: hellloooooo where do you find a 99 baht shop. and now, mango sales interest me no more. MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone.. much love from me. :)

//Next year, things are gonna change
Gonna drink less beer, and start all over again
Gonna read more books, gonna keep up with the news
Gonna learn how to cook, spend less money on shoes
I’ll pay my bills on time,and file my mail away, everyday
Only drink the finest wine,and call my Gran every Sunday
Resolutions, baby they come and go
Will I do any of these things? The answers probably no
If there’s one thing I must do, despite my greatest fears
I’m gonna say to you, how I felt all of these years
Next Year

bewitched,bothered n bewildered.

2006-12-18T11:54:00.000+08:00

i have not seen a rainbow in ages and it was nice to see one on the way out to dinner just the other day. I made matt stop by the road shoulder along the CTE and we must have been a sight. 2 jokers as if they've never seen a rainbow before. wouldn't it be fun if we could actually chase the rainbow and find the pot of gold at the end of it?

its the end of the year and its been raining nonstop and getting all too dreary. a new start after all this maybe. the end of one helluva confusing year.
rain gets me bleagh and i'm going off in search of sunshine.

leaving for thailand tmr and i can't sleep. i've been used to going out at night and then coming back and flopping myself on the bed and watching dvds and vegetating then waking up at 11 plus the next day. so before i fly, i leave with my favourite photos from kal's and twee's birthday dinner the other day:

// I'm gonna soak up the sun
I'm gonna tell everyone
To lighten up (I'm gonna tell 'em that)
I've got no one to blame

your grace to remind me..

2006-12-12T13:11:00.000+08:00

Kids are cute. but terribly energy-sapping. Alls well and good if he/she is a darling angel.. you can practically get away with anything if you're cute( and i think that still applies) but some kids are just a package of hyperactive-ness,brattiness all rolled into one and you end up spending your time running after them, trying to coax, charm and then getting exasperated.
A few hours in one day and I was pooped. how about a kid of my own in my future, or better still, 2 kids, or more.. I have no idea how mums do it.

The zoo wasn't all too impressive, languid animals that looked terribly bored( even the lions half-heartedly poked around at their chicken meat and the male looked like he was suffering from hair loss.hur), sparse looking exhibits.ah, the problem with expectations maybe. it just didn't cut it the way it used to.

a few of the girls..
the boys..

the kids fascinated with feeding the goats. its a wonder the goats just chomp on any ol leaf.. without getting sick.
christmas came early to law school. :)

much thanks to our santa.. you were great.

and to everyone who helped out in xmas charity. yayness.

i need to be in the SUN. beach, wakeboarding.. anything... pleassseeeeee.
some stuff invoke certain memories, certain emotions.. i'm not quite sure if i'm ready to do this alone after so long. flight or fight.. i have both options.
and then sometimes, it sucks being a girl.. because by virtue of that you've gotta play a passive role.
wouldn't it be great if things could be the way in 'she's the man'.. awesome shite.

//Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try

the art of seduction

2006-12-10T15:42:00.000+08:00

buy me a ticket to the end of the rainbow

2006-12-10T12:56:00.000+08:00

The exams have been over for only a few days but somehow, my brain has done such a wonderful job of going into denial and contract/prop/clt have all been filed away nicely in my cupboard and away in my brain. 5 days seem like 10, but well, i'm not complaining. Finishing the rest of ANTM on youtube without having to tell myself that i'll only watch one part of it after 10 pages of gruelling notes; concussing for 11 hours straight and still feel like sleeping without having to jump out of bed angsting about trying to finish a neverending chapter of corporate governance;watching my calendar fill up not with academic clutter but with delightfully fun stuff; renting chick flicks from videozy and settling back with a book and another 2 deliciously inviting books waiting on the table.

there was st james power station which was pretty much a letdown: the drinks were alright, the crowd dysmal: being made up of old men, the music abit of a schizo, and if you were high enough on the booze, you could almost convince yourself that the drilling in the next room was part of the music. weren't we amazing, we finished a bottle of whiskey in 45 min.

and zouk which had to be down in the pits. insane crowd.the social gatherings started from the kopitiam. i mean we could have possibly done a law school gathering impromtu on the spot (we had that many people), and a rgs gathering next to the bar.. (which consisted of meeting ppl from waaaay back like from my lower sec days who were definitely on a high). and well, i wasn't even high. :/

the only photo of the night with matt:
I definitely was higher at walas listening to EIC on one asahi and (fun)supper at crystal jade thereafter. i have to agree with kalyn that yea, he does have much stage presence and charm. i'm sorry joel if you do not know how to appreciate good stuff. : P

yesterday was spent exploring parts of singapore i've never walked through before: scouring tekka and little india.

" lock the doors!"
"eeeks. and this is where we hang on to each other for dear lives"

and bollocks to one way streets. they're horribly irritating. but well, yay to my navigator while i did the driving. we weren't lost too badly.

all these.. and its only been 5 days since.
its 1530 now.. and i got up at 1130.. ain't too bad if i crawl back into bed now would it. heh.

//You dont have to be cool
To rule my world
Aint no particular sign
Im more compatible with
I just want your extra time
And your kiss

crush

2006-12-01T18:46:00.000+08:00

"It doesn't take a scientist To understand what's going on baby"

like how the boy across raises your adrenaline just a little bit each time you look at him, or how each time you look into his eyes, your heart does a little flutter.
Separated only by that physical distance... you see, but you don't touch, you can't, at least not now..
and i know how it feels.
those crazy thoughts that flood your mind.. that little hint of a smile on your lips each time you think of him..
i know..because I see, but i cant touch...

this.
thanks mum. for calling me home early, away from being hardworking and attempting to internalize asiatic to tell me that we got to drive the hyundai instead of daddy's new hunka hunka burning lurve. to avoid getting scratches and dirt on its first day of inception.

why ah why.
alas, its a cruel world.

the best part had to be when i had my hands on the windows, staring into the black leather interior, just short of pressing my face against the glass, and my mum promptly said..

" see.. but you can't touch it.. "

thanks mum.
I do have a crush.

//It's just a little crush
Not like I faint every time we touch
It's just some little thing
Not like everything I do depends on you

light up, light up

2006-11-28T12:11:00.000+08:00

//I wanna fall from the stars
Straight into your arms
I I feel you
I hope you comprehend

Shelved a drafted post in favour of something else. An indication that I'm still alive, despite being miserable in the freezer called school and watching the rain fall on the outside. White-washed walls, grey skies which seem to draw the colour out of all else, not much of a choice between the 2.

The days get longer, the attention span gets shorter. the lights get dim, and your brain almost feels the same way.
And I do all I can to keep myself sane.
even if it means indulging in copious amounts of food,

and proceeding to be all touristy at cityspace. wahwah, damn nice!
Not before Carrie's transformation, from terrorist

to tai tai ( with her hairclip, kal's shawl and my mum's shoes)

We tried, to live the chi chi lifestyle. oh how absolutely faaabulous, daaaahling. But ended up Rushing to the window to look at the view 70 floors above ground, melting to the vocals of the night,popping cashews non stop into the mouth.
I tried, I really did, to stop myself from being such a hopeless romantic. But I suppose, the operative word as always, is "tried".

for the alcoholic in all of us

Amazement which extended to the washroom

i'll be counting down the days, till the next time i sit and feel free.
all those words unsaid.

//But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed

you look so fine and i really wanna make you mine.

2006-11-12T03:04:00.000+08:00

thank you dear for dinner tonight. our usual crash course live update. a little angsting done, some wine-ing(and more) and dining, some bonding done.
[keep the faith ,babe, and hell yea, maybe its about time to outsource.investments, a dangerous thing] *hugs*

lots of emo rock tonight by unexpected. lots of head bopping and singing along.
Highway run Into the midnight sun

I thought my birthday week was over. but no, I got dragged on stage together with another 'real' birthday girl; danced with some random dude who was single for the night; got a birthday song from the entire walas.
thanks. so much.

Isn't it ironic how life plays out like a black and white motion picture in your mind? How the most random of things trigger off the most unlikely of memories.

as my memory rests/but never forgets what i lost.

//Anything goes but don't blink you might miss

isn't it ironic, all i want is to get hooked.

2006-11-08T23:29:00.000+08:00

The passing of one day, the reaching of the big 2-0.
Many thanks to everyone who made this special in so many ways, the expected wishes which made me smile, the unexpected wishes which made my day, the wishes which came before, on and after the day itself, wishes even halfway around the world and the people who spent it with me. yay. to all of you.

I effectively drank my birthday away.
1 champagne cocktail +some beer+ 1 graveyard= a very stoned and red me.

there was a 5 second lag before i realized that EIC was singing a birthday song for me (awesome!! though there must have been something lacking at timbre cuz i thought they were alot more charming at walas but still great all the same. )
Then they did my number 1 song on itune and my favourite song to drive to with the windows down. thank you.
All that I ever was Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
at least i managed to make it to a relatively empty zouk (chouk) without falling asleep before that and downing another apple shooter.

Sometimes, its all about the feeling, its all about the vibes.
i'll appreciate every little thing.
everyone who came for dinner on saturday,the effed up soup, the excruciatingly long wait for the waiters to get our food, the photo whoring at the table, the damn hard but yummilicious birthday cake. happifying times.

the perks of being the birthday boy

Even the one bottle of jim bean at chijmes where i realized that the crazy inflation of price of mixers( i'll smuggle my own next time) and learnt that seating and fengshui has nothing to do with your luck when you play scissors paper stone or zong ji mi ma or cai quan for that matter.

For all guys, its time to learn from the staff at dolce vita cuz they sure know how to make a girl feel like a million bucks.
1. get her on a bubbly high ( ie toast the girl with champagne)
2. surprise her ( get all the waiters to surprise her with a birthday cake and song)
3. its the little things that matter (ie write her a card)

4. get her on a sugar high( ie get her complimentary dessert)
desserts

5. give her lots of attention( ie. get the cute chef to wish her happy birthday too)
***
wouldn't it be nice to be able to string every single thought of yours into nice prose without having to angst about having the most random of thoughts and then wonder why your brain is acting up in the middle of the night in a quiet playground.
all those possibilities that once were and possibilities to- be.

the quiet yearning of a heart.the urge to make the wrong things right. the wish for all things to be happy and free.

the need to get out of rut. well, lets make it an urgent need. bah. humbug.

and somedays, all you need is a hug and some loving.

[reminds me oh when the judge asked me during my mock trial with all seriousness, " so,miss ong, when girls say yes, they mean no?"]

//Stars lookin at our planet watching entropy and pain
And maybe start to wonder how the chaos in our lives could pass as sane
I've been thinking bout the meaning of resistance, of a hope beyond my own
And suddenly the infinite and penitent begin to look like home

i'll do it on a whim, a rhyme without reason.

2006-10-29T23:14:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, school feels this way, though more often than not nowadays... hurhur

and sometimes you ask why..

but at the end of the day, just suck it all up and grit your teeth..

in my last post, i complained about my crappy painted nails, and now i complain about my toe nails because officially, after 2 days of floorball/soccer/frisbee, i have crappy toe nails now. balls to soon- to-be-non-existent nail polish. :/

P.S, kai takes all due credit for that brilliant quote in my last entry. :)

//You right where you are, from right where I am
Somewhere between unsure and a hundred

And who's to say it's wrong
And who's to say that it's not right
Where we should be for now

you give me fever, and baby, what a lovely way to burn.

2006-10-22T14:42:00.000+08:00

Weddings are awesome, especially one within the family. how absolutely wonderful as the cousins hit marriageable age.
I can never get enough of weddings- each one an affirmation of love. Each one a show of faith and commitment. How nicely, it fits with my little head-stuck-in-the-clouds moment that love will keep us alive.

a toast to queenie and justin

Each wedding I go for, each one I find things I tell myself never to do for mine. No cheesy powerpoint presentations, no tacky overplayed-to-death songs for the red carpet walk (think shania twain's "from this moment on"), no corny dimming of the lights and dry ice as the waiters come out with the cold dish. I always told myself mine had to be one of class and finnese.And the wedding at the Sentosa Resort and Spa had to be the closet so far to my ideal beach wedding.

It was to be a lovely fusion of chinese tradition and Auzzie style. Hanging out at the conference room prior to the tea ceremony was only to be the start of a night of exclamations: oooo... wah you're such a big girl already!" and well, an opportunity to check out the kick ass gown my aunt was wearing. It was totally totally awesome: slit up the side with feathers tastefully done, a rich blue... oooh lah lah.

My duties at the reception got me kind of hot under the collar(or lack thereof) after awhile, not only because of the stupid haze which made the place real humid, nor was it having to deal with the guests and trying desperately to search for their name while figuring out whether they were on the justin or queenie guest list, nor was it seeing the ang pow bank fill up to the brim, but more importantly, it was the bubbly on an empty stomach which got me quite happy and high.
and so if bubbly on an empty stomach makes me happier than usual, what am i to make of my stylist's offer to get the boys of the salon to buy me drinks when i go to zouk. it all started with prudent questioning of his, whether i could drink, and then a warning, that i really shouldn't be driving on that day and finally, an assurance that he was a perfect gentleman.

well done la.

the wedding dinner was done the Auzzie way, what with a 4 course dinner, lots of live entertainment, dancing and lots of ringing of those tiny bells for the couple to kiss. Of which, much wisdom with regards to relationships was dispensed during the course of the night: because for every successful relationship, there needs to be compromise and never go to bed angry... but then again, in every argument, its always better to win, even if it means winning 51%. No prizes for guessing which came from the fairer sex. And i've come to realise that there can actually be a happy union between a doctor and a lawyer as my cousin has demonstrated.

And well, I suppose I have every reason to be glad that I'm still 'young' because according to my cousin at the same table, I was young enough to get the bling going without looking like a hooker. (ok. um. yay?) Well, I'll just take heart that if everything else fails, I still have my awesome heels. I mean its got to say something if the bride squeals that she loves your shoes the first thing she sees you.
a photo whore moment. pardon me.but for those heels.

i think she looked absolutely fantabulous

justin and queenie

and we'll dance, my love, just you and me

pat chan with a lovely rendition of 'my romance'

random thought of the moment: i can never maintain painted nails. what was meant for the wedding has now started to chip already 2 days after trying to get them to look decent. my mum is convinced now that her daughter has no clue how to paint those nails of hers. well mummy, there's not much point if i keep chipping them right.

even randomer thought of the moment:
i'm very much the gal who lives for the moment and leads by her heart..

and because someone once told me this: " you don't get attached because you need to fill an emptiness in your life..."

My romance doesn't have to have a moon in the sky
My romance doesn't need a blue lagoon standing by
No month of May
No twinkling stars
No hideaway
No soft guitar

And all the roads that lead to you are winding..

2006-10-18T09:29:00.000+08:00

blah. blahness. blah-est.
Maybe its the monthly hormonal upset or maybe its just the result of mid-sem-sianness.
When my msn nick was " i don't quite know how to say, how i feel," wasnt emo-ing big time. I really meant it literally.

Wanting to do so many things, but inertia. Knowing that maybe I should be panicking about the looming exams (which might just very well trample me over with a loud fe fi fo fum), but then again, inertia, when I would most rather just crawl into bed again. Then there are times when i feel the need to be around people and at others, the thought of it just tires me out so. hide hide away.
You know how, sometimes you just know that what you really need is a good work out but damn the effort it takes to get your ass into the gym. All those thoughts of taking the easy way out and taking the turn into my estate.. yes, i'm an indecisive driver.
I wanna do all the fun stuff.. but then again, exams and work are such a bitch.

oh blast and bother,damn these conflicting rubbish.

lets all take offff and go on a holidaaaaay.

//"I don't see much sense in that," said Rabbit.
"No," said Pooh humbly, "there isn't. But there was going to be when I began it. It's just that something happened to it along the way."

poem for the maybes

2006-10-08T01:03:00.000+08:00

awsome stuff.

poem for the maybes
vrai

this is a poem for the maybes. not the yeses,
whose morning breath you taste on the hundredth day of hundreds,
but the ones you married or loved or betrayed in some other universe,
first time she wore it a rumbly stereo broadcast long slow notes and you
took her lonely hand, moved it over her head to spin her
and her hem in imperfect ellipses. you were barefoot;
she is taller than you.

there are jealousy plays, kiss-me-i'm-lonelys, a boy with things to say
and no one to understand them, you with no one to understand. you have
fumbled for fascinating answers to smalltalk questions from a girl you only want
in order to drive the girl you love as mad as she's driven you.

and you will, and you will,
smudge the line between maybe and yes--it's something about knowing
maybes are not afraid of the dark. maybes do not have favorite colors.
maybes have freckles, tequila breath, guilt, a pair of shoes
that, when you see them again on someone else, will make you pause. "don't"
in the air they exhale, or "in four decades, when we are old
and have forgotten one another and met again"

maybes are the ones you speak to as though nothing has happened.
maybes are the ones you'll never see again.
you know you've tasted him, but can't imagine the metaphor you
might've thought of to describe it. spent a night with her watching stars,
and all you can remember is how you told the story later.

out of danger

2006-10-06T10:22:00.000+08:00

Heart be kind and sign the release
As the trees their loss approve.
Learn as leaves must learn to fall
Out of danger, out of love.

What belongs to frost and thaw
Sullen winter will not harm.
What belongs to wind and rain
Is out of danger from the storm.

Jealous passion, cruel need
Betray the heart they feed upon.
But what belongs to earth and death
Is out of danger from the sun.

I was cruel, I was wrong -
Hard to say and hard to know.
You do not belong to me.
You are out of danger now -

Out of danger from the wind,
Out of danger from the wave,
Out of danger from the heart
Falling, falling out of love.
-James Fenton

because i'm in danger of hyperventilating because of company. because all in the name of being emo.because i loved this poem the moment i read it in a lit paper a few years ago and has stuck ever since.
just because.
and this one, for(from) a friend.

truly, though our element is time,
we are not suited to the long perspectives
open at each instant of our lives.
they link us to our losses: worse,
they show us what we have as it once was,
blindingly undiminished, just as though
by acting differently we could have kept it so.
-philip larkin

i miss lit. i miss.

iblame.irun.irestless.

2006-10-01T12:40:00.000+08:00

It has been awhile. For blogging, for going out proper ( or at least it feels that way) .. for anything. And I blame prop assignment for that ( like how i vehemently waved the prop question in weihan's face in answer to whether i was zouking.)lease/not a lease but a tenancy at will or lease with grant/ licence/ not a licence but a contract.weeerrrrrrrt. Its a vicious cycle of blame. i blame prop for leaving me with little time to do other else so i attempt to ameliorate the situation by taking stabs at the keyboard and form a sentence. yay! one more to me.and Kiki. (oh just take the money and go) then end up doing rubbish online like changing the colour of my firefox. then i blame prop for sending me to the pits of boredom.

rawr.
Come next friday, I will play. you hear me? P.L.A.Y.

This holiday, each attempt at serious work would get waylaid with something else like going over to JB and realizing the merits of what you can do with RM10. awesome dimsum!eat.eat.eat.

then there is also the alternative. RM 10 for the boys- go watch dead or alive. lots of action, lots of bikinis, lots of boobs n asses, lots of wet tees.. just lack of a brain.

Triple that amount and you can go take a little puttering vibrating vehicle round the racetrack and then watch how a bumper flies or crash into someone in front of you and see people drift and drive like a maniac.
suiting up. oh the fantasies of a spanky leather jacket and a spiffy little red racing car

ready.. set..

go go go!

baby.. satisfy my need for speedbut i'm still hum.. unlike al who drove like a maniac.

then there was ht's lantern party, all in the name of tradition which landed up being a let's-burn-each-other's-lantern-with-sparklers-free-frag-session at the nearby playground. not to mention my classic brainless moment of trying to light the sparkler from the wrong end.
what twenty somethings i hear you say.

In the name of tradition, all gatherings at ht's place are never complete without some horror show. And it was Ju-On this time. "fux/cb/why the hell is she opening that door?!noooooooo.../*insert random scream*/freakkkk... "

****
maybe, some days, its good to place a little trust in horoscopes and its very well that it happened.

sat down, wondered why, how, what. couldn't come up with a proper answer and concluded that things just happen. it takes so much not to fall to apathy.

meme. don't have a fixed persona.a little bit of everything. soppy emotional sad love songs. me i like. head bopping/ grungy emo rock. i like.love those guitars.frank sinatra, nat king cole,songs for the old. ilike.

restless.bored.a little random. a little more excitement please.

//Do you listen to yourself?
Never live for someone else
Do you like the way you feel?
Nothing hurts when no one's real
She wants to shake this scene
Yeah, she wants to shake with me
She's not looking for the holes in all their lies

why i don't quite like mondays

2006-09-18T22:34:00.000+08:00

last monday, i provided reasons why monday sucked. this monday, I've found more reasons to add to the growing list.

Got myself a much needed patella band which has as of now been elevated to life-saver status and I took it out for a test run earlier on. It worked perfectly fine, in fact, passed with flying colours. the difference between my two knees were so damn obvious. my left knee was of course the happier of the two.
But as of now, I officially need to get another band urgently, because now my other knee hurts too and is calling for support.hurhur.

i don't think i'll ever join the 'elites' or rather, thats the name i gave the bunch of regular (uncle)runners at the reservoir. i'm 1/3 their age, probably run half the distance that they do but i've twice as much equipment needed just to go for a run. sometimes I feel like i'm suiting up-ipod/patella bandand whatever else necessary to get me going. rawr.
well,at the very least, i guess i can ascribe the title of 'regular' to myself esp when i get to wave n smile at em while i run or better still, i get a friendly horn from their motorbike/car and a wave.

No, don't you dare tell me to stop moving. I was the gal who joined touch rug after my knee op and that totally flipped my mum out. but its fun to run around waaaat.

But this has got to take the cake. MY APPLE ADAPTER BLEW and a new one costs frigging 149 bucks. so now I can't charge my laptop ie use it and am currently on my PC. I think I'm ignoring the fact that I'm supposed to be doing my company tutorial because I'm actually taking the time to get reacquainted with windows all over again and busy downloading updates for this sad system i've neglected, playing around with msn (not adium) though i think i forgot how my speakers trump my laptop sound system. perfect for those songs made up of electric guitars coupled with grungy sounding vocalist and emo lyrics.just right up my alley.

Its like digging out old memories of an ex-lover..

but i still love my apple.[because where my apple key is, lies in its place the 'alt' key. why you imposter]

and because i'm not doing work, i amuse myself with photos from my food foray at st.nix and rgs.
the famous orange bowl

its amazing stuff that teachers remember you from 14 years ago. like. wow.

rgs rocks.

did i mention that i wanna go on a beach holiday?

//You had said i was gamine
But we didnt mean the same thing i think
Broke my choux pastry heart
Guess life's no picture postcard

life is too short to dance with ugly men...

2006-09-12T06:53:00.000+08:00

so says flor who must think that is the advice i should heed. (not that i've ugly men in my life at the moment. in fact i have no man to speak of.) Somehow, the issue of my present singlehood keeps cropping up. The guy who washes my hair at the salon waxes lyrical on the boons of singledom when he finds out that i wasn't in fact going to meet my (non-existant)boyfriend after that; as does my hairstylist who was nursing a hangover after getting back from zouk at 6am the night before as he cut my hair , eyebrows raised and an emphatic "why??" escapes him when i tell him that i'm single.

dude.. whadya mean why???

my hip and happening hairstylist who is a zoukie then invites me to hang out with the 'boys' the next time i'm there. Join the swinging singles i hear him say.

but i say, life is too short to not spend it with gfs like these who can't quite get enough of the camera. So while we make a toast to singlehood, my dear girls one fine day we'll meet not in our present status. Flor with your psc scholar dude(haha. just kidding) and Wing with one of your exotic hunks.

in the meantime... ask for nothing less but the best.

aunty leung's legendary cheesecake and wonderful yumyum for the tumtum/with foo,sarah,ams whom i have not seen in soo long/wing with her mum and bro

love love

loof

everyone now. minus cheeko uncles in the background.-jamie's blog

shameless photo whoring

and we just can't stop

i heart you

//Say you'll stay
Don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way
Yeah I need to know
All about you
And there's no cure
And no way to be sure

because its monday..

2006-08-28T23:50:00.000+08:00

and no longer the big social event at timbre on saturday night which just ended up in me spending more money at the flea market..

...nor is it MOS on a friday night where..

Jared pops up in photos he isn't meant to be in...

***
..I wake up to a nagging mother..
..I scratch the car and chip off paint off the side of the garage pillar while reversing. The part of my brain which controls my sense of estimation and judgement and spatial ability obviously doesn't work well on a monday morning. oh right, familiarity breeds complacency, which then comes with a price to pay.
.. I spill coffee in the study room, over my company lecture notes which then proceed to go into the bin after my staring at them dismally for awhile. Re: functionality of brain as above. I sat there blinking before running around trying to get tissue to clear the mess.
.. I have some idiot horning at me at the U-turn because she obviously is blind to the fact that there are oncoming cars, which then ends up with my going bleagh bleagh pffftt at her.

I guess the red top and red shoes today weren't enough...

Maybe I should have taken it one level up n do what the chinese say: red undies for luck.

//You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride

to the world at large

2006-08-24T23:57:00.000+08:00

i wish there was a universal band aid. to heal everything: broken hearts, untamed hearts, emotions runneth over.

a hug to solve everything.wouldn't it be nice?
to simplify everything.
to have you, you, and you smile from within.

//Way up high or down low, I'll go wherever you will go

Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope
Runaway with my love

stardust

2006-08-20T02:04:00.000+08:00

I wish I could share this little corner of my house, of which I never quite exploited its potential. Its late night beauty.
The sound of running water into the pond coupled with strains of slow jazz and love songs; the arm chair on the wooden patio complete with those wooden blinds; the tealights i placed along the edge. I am the master of atmosphere. I just lack the wine.
It has to be/would be the perfect spot for a late night conversation. But for now, it is the perfect spot for late night thoughts.

Growing up never quite seemed so complicated as this. Sometimes you feel like you're in control and at times you feel yourself spiralling further and further away from anything you've ever known before. Sometimes you feel like you're at the top of the world and sometimes you feel like you're just pond scum. And then, there are times where you just feel like going limp and just float along. Wouldn't it be so much easier to not think at all, you say.
But you find yourself pondering more and more about things, some of which you might not have the answer to.Questions of life,love, relationships, the people around you.. yourself.

Sometimes you tell yourself that you should be strong, because emo-ing is weakness, and sometimes, stripped of everything else, you realize that as clear as day, you're vulnerable and soft at the core. And possibly everyone, under the many layers they hide their real self, are really just the same. All with their own insecurities, and demons to fight. Just too afraid to tell it to your face.

Sometimes, its so easy to lose yourself, to just want to get along. And then as you tread this path, you find yourself questioning more, however much you might loathe it, questioning even what you've believed all along. And if your life were to be seen as this one path, then, there are those people who cross your path just once, those of whom have left an impression, but are now gone, somehow;those whose paths diverge,run parallel but are always there somewhere; those people who have altered the course of your path.

So we all have love and lost, understood the pain and heartache that comes with it. We've all made our mistakes and grown from it. And now we just hope to be found. A little more love couldn't hurt.

//And now the purple dusk of twilight time
Steals across the meadows of my heart
High up in the sky the little stars climb
Always reminding me that were apart
You wander down the lane and far away
Leaving me a song that will not die
Love is now the stardust
Of yesterday
The music
Of the years
Gone by

because its the 2nd day of school and i'm falling asleep over clt..

2006-08-15T16:27:00.000+08:00

not emo-schemo

2006-08-13T12:51:00.000+08:00

Because somehow, I've been occupied on a daily basis, this is a kind of a belated update of matric week and such.
nad and her second surprise in a week, where i had to make a last minute smiley faced cake with MnMs

everyone who turned up at the chalet

And it was to be the week of birthdays, Singapore celebrated her 41st as well. And what would it be without some fun with food and drinks in red and white and other stuff for the boys.

Then there was beach bash at sentosa where it culminated in the traditional drag queen contest ( which resulted in watching year 2s fend off the advances of the new found chicks of law sch)

part of last year's og 8. :)

Fright night where things went bump in the night and hand dryers went off mysteriously on their own and people heard unidentified screaming for real. Thank goodness my station was in the dean's office where there was air conditioning, and a sofa to flop on in between details. yayness that we managed to scare so many freshies with all the weird noises from khairil n kyle n chun n i cornering the freshies on the sofa; khelvin n his repeated jumping out of the cabinet and winston the ouija board n weihan the mysterious guy sitting at the end of the corridor with the candles.

rag was the next morning and somehow even with a backache from sleeping on the sofa outside the law lib for a few hours and a dying throat, I somehow managed to survive the afternoon sun and end up screaming for this year's raggers and holding my breath as they did their stunts and getting all emo n tearry eyed over them when I saw them dance.

I couldn't be more proud of each and every one of them out there that day, knowing the immense amount of hard work they put in, those tears and sweat and bruises... you go guys! It couldn't be a better way to start the new semester.
I ended up going back to my archives and reading my entry about rag. How we all felt so bonded by that one common goal.
It sure has been one long eventful year since that day.
aug 2005.

the sailors and ballerinas ala the 'sex tonight' people. So proud of you guys! :) was kinda worried about you people but you guys pulled it off with perfection.

-big hug to everyone-

My body has now started a protest to the lack of rest i've been getting and i'm officially sick. But very restless.
i hate the humid weather which doesn't help my feeling feverish.
I now understand the pain of being a full time house wife. having to wash the dishes n cook for my dad because my mum and maid are both outta the house when all i wanna do is just sleep.. urgh.
*****
And then some days,sometimes I just feel a little unsettled. Something missing. something more. Something not quite complete.

But I can't quite put my finger on it.

School starts tomorrow and I would love to be able to tell myself and convince myself that its all going to be a fresh start.

make all the wrong right.
second chances.
possibilities. what ifs... could bes..

I'll take it all.

//This is the last time  That I'm ever gonna give in tonight  Are there angels or devils crawling here?  I just want to know what blurs and what is clear, to see
Still I can see the pain in you  And I can see the love in you  And fighting all the demons will take time

closing time; i know who i want to take me home..

2006-08-04T14:38:00.000+08:00

It has been awhile hasn't it. Gatherings too far and few, too much to catch up on. Each a different life, but yet, all a rgs girl at heart.
-cue screams at each new addition to the table- A crash course on what everyone is doing, attempts to find out about 'missing' people, a quick survey on everyone's love lives, -more screams-, and then with every gathering, comes the reminescing.. things we never grow tired of talking about. From those sec 3 days of Mr Gomez and netball carnival memories that once seemed fantastic, now provide fodder for entertainment to ah hoon in sec 4 and attempts to recall seating arrangements, things we all hold dear.

RGS will always be a special place to me, all those nooks and crannies that we had a love-hate relationship with, from the amphi theatre to the Responsible Thinking Classroom to the canteen and our classrooms. How some things will be universal to all RGS girls, walking hand in hand down those corridors, decorating/vandalizing our lockers, Fried Chicken days from the malay stall, how we would always waste lesson time by going on long toilet trips.
To my dear class, thanks for everything. :) (thank goodness for the sec 4 class video we had)

And then what would a gathering like this be without lots of photo whoring.

the people who turned up. yayness!

the silly girl who started tearing when her cake came.i hope you had a good surprise.

my lovely baobeis *airkiss*

i have not seen these girls in ages.
(clockwise from left: flora//sarah n flor//wing,fi,grace//409 spsls:annette,joni,shob,wing)

and the photo whoring continues into MOS burger where we come to a unanimous decision that it has perfect lighting

one last parting shot

*******
sometimes, you just feel like losing yourself..
..to stop thinking..
..to the embrace of the night.
... and then hope to be found.

//And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummer begins to drum
I dont know which way Im going
I dont know which way Ive come

Hold my head inside your hands
I need someone who understands
I need someone, someone who hears
For you Ive waited all these years
For you Id wait till kingdom come
Until my day, my day is done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me

riding the waves with you

2006-08-01T11:47:00.000+08:00

spsls '02 to those who didn't manage to make it, you guys were missed.

It has been 4 years since the days of eating in the PSL room, singing along to our CD player and basically just calling that place our own. All those meetings, all those times of stressing out, and how could i forget.. those training camps.Somehow I have a vague memory of us switching off all the lights at block H and dancing around in the middle of the night. Ah, one of those random tidbits. And now, how all of us have grown and blossomed.Each walking down a separate path. But I guess in everyone's heart, there'll always be this core of a shared experience, once upon a time.
Stand tall, stand proud
Voices that care are crying out loud
And when you close your eyes tonight
Feel in your heart how our love burns bright

nic

how we go back a long way.. since those sec school days.. those sji-rgs psl days. All the scandals, the friendships that lasted through the years, those combined meetings, then those chalets, those birthday dinners which have now evolved into extended sessions which include post dinner activities.
you go guy! for simply doing something that you believe in. aww, you couldn't be sweeter ..
MR Nic-" i probably might not end up happily ever after with her but i know i'll regret it if i let her go without even trying." -Lee.
Thanks for being such a great friend in anycase nic. :)

//Some boys take a beautiful girl,
And hide her away from the rest of the world.
I wanna be the one to walk in the sun.
Oh,girls,
They wanna have fu-un.

and then i go and spoil it all by saying something stupid..

2006-07-29T00:53:00.000+08:00

With just my reading lamp on, a tealight or 2, class 95 on the radio, I've taken to curling up in my bedroom with a book late at night. ( Its 'The Time Traveler's Wife' at the moment and my bedroom setting adds to the mood just perfectly.) Its always nice to indulge in a little romanticism, belive that love conquers all.

Tonight's family dinner somehow turned into a mass bring the bfs session. oh the horror, of being hounded by the rest.
But it was nice to see the girls all happy, and then some.
But finally.. there's gonna be a wedding in the family soon enough!! Its when you hear sweet stories such as my cousin's bf asking my uncle for her hand in marriage that you believe in true love.

*******
'Ah, but what can we take along
into that other realm? Not the art of looking,
which is learned so slowly, and nothing that happened here.Nothing.
The sufferings, then. And, above all, the heaviness,
and the long experience of love,-just what is wholly unsayable.'
- The Ninth Duino Elegy
*******
Finished my sailing course today and it just made me realise how much i need to keep myself occupied, keep myself active. Such fun to be out there, even if it meant lots of capsizing and even having your boat turn turtle on you when you try to act smart and attempt a dry cap, and then waking up the next day to lots of bruises on your underarm making you look like some abused kid. There's a quiet satisfaction after that, muscles aching. And i guess thats what makes me wanna push myself sometimes, even if it means having wild plans of going to the gym or running or even wanting to go pick up kayaking. (anyone up for that?)

So the day I'm certified a "proficient sailor", I get to say i'm a "proficient driver" as well. Goodbye to assholes attempting to bully me on the road.
the last time you're ever gonna see this...

and then its off!

happily into my tummy.hur.

*******

' Well, I asked Neil Armstrong what he thought about it all.'
'And what did he say?'
'He said that when he saw the earth from the moon for the first time, everything was changed in an instant.'
' I see'
" In an instant, he realised that what he thought about something, depended on which angle he was looking at it from and he added- the more he finds out, the less he knows.'
-Elvis, Jesus and Me
**********
I think I'm beginning to see a silver lining to everything. Even if sometimes it feels like there's a ~~wall~~, bubble. I see through but choose to be insulated from things. Sometimes, we all just choose the easier way out, letting things just settle to the bottom and then not disturb.

I know myself better.
I own myself.

And then, sometimes we all should just go with the flow. Fate has her way of dealing her cards.

//I hate to think hesitation is a burden
A bittersweet design for a lesson you're learning

I say a little prayer...

2006-07-23T23:51:00.000+08:00

I'm sitting here in semi-darknesson my newly acquired lounger, only my bedside lamps on. I could have just switched on the reading lamp behind me, instead of relying on the glow of my laptop screen to make sure that my fingers are hitting the right keys. I tried. I did. But the glare of the lamp just ruined the romantic atmosphere. All part of the belated process of decorating my room.. giving it the romantic resort feel, complete with the 4 poster bed,curtains, candles... There's something about the beach that gets me going. Guess that explains why I bought that huge print of the sea to put on my wall.I must be doing a good job of romanticising my room, because I'm falling in love with all everything is feeling right now. ( Must be the soppy songs on my ipod)
I'm the ultimate romantic.

And the ultimate sentimental sod.
I went through my boxes where I kept stuff accumulated over the years looking for old photos to pin up and I swore I almost choked up. I guess much of it was cuz of all the dust but there was this odd sensation just reading old notes and looking at familiar faces, familiar places. It was as if my ~~brain~~ heart was working on overdrive;trying to figure out the oddity of how far-away and yet familiar things were; bitter-sweet; notes I chose not to read; photos I took a long time to decide to put away or put up.

The last few days I took a little time off for myself, running my own errands and buying my own stuff around town. No need to make small talk with anyone, no need for anything, just me melting into anonymity I like it this way, a little time out. No deadlines to meet, no need to pander to anyone else. Just me. Picked up books from the library and couldn't help but feel excited. I stopped going to the library for too long and have forgotten how it felt, back in those jc days to snuggle somewhere with a good book.

I had originally intended to lapse into angsty emo mode but I can't, not with ray charles in the background singing " you are so beautiful to me". Instead of going on about how I've come to realize how this world really works, maybe I'll just go on about how this world should work: love everywhere. Maybe I should have joined the bohemian revolution for truth, beauty and love. Thats how life should really be shouldn't it?

living with childish glee and wild abandon.
I'll trust and trust again.

"some people see only what they want to see and if you ask me, it makes the whole world a crossword puzzle without any clues."
gotta make sense of all that blank spaces around me.

//When we walk hand-in-hand, the world becomes a wonderland
It's magic
How else can I explain those rainbows when there isn't rain?
It's magic

shake it like a polaroid picture.

2006-07-20T11:32:00.000+08:00

I'm trying hard to hold on to the images and the brilliant colours of the past 3 days. But maybe I shouldn't will it to be this way, before, like sand, it slips through my fingers. Maybe, if I close my eyes, I'll dream those happy feelings again.

running away from cats.lots of Coldplay blasting on my ipod speakers. lots of seafood. the obligatory booze sessions both in the pool and in the rooms. naptime by the pool on the deckchairs. competing with houseflies for meals. out and away in our own little boat for a day of snorkling.

The crash of the waves. The evening sun, the sand between my toes. And as I look out to sea, everything seems to be taken out into sea. Nothing left. Only a serene sense of being.
I miss Tioman. Or rather, the sense of the being away from everything else. And I knew I was entitled to forget about everything else except my island getaway.

Now that I'm back, lets face the music and dance. Don't wanna cling on to any driftwood, I'll just walk this through on my own. How I think I shouldn't show any sign of weakness.

on the way there

gorgeous sunsets. living the life.

what we do best.. chilling in the pool (complete with the drunk guy who dancing ontop of the bar table and into the bar counter)

my very own corona advert

our day of ultimate paradise

more pool fun

I saw the stars in Tioman. And how they shined for you...

One special moment. One special place.
Let's just live for the moment.

//Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something.

numb

2006-07-13T05:44:00.000+08:00

3 shots 1 housepour later and i wasn't even vaguely high. Maybe it was the coffee i had earlier or maybe it was just me being distracted. ( if i had a choice, I would have gone on a long run instead. )
thanks for the excellent company though.

I want to keep the faith still. I don't wanna have to change the way i thought this place was meant to be.
And as i oscillate, trying to find the balance, i find myself asking why.

I'm just waiting for the skies to clear.

Have not heard this in awhile. until just earlier on, at phuture.

//I’m tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless
Lost under the surface
Don’t know what you’re expecting of me
Put under the pressure
Of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I’m becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me, and be less like you

rush to the head

2006-07-11T02:05:00.000+08:00

I sincerely cross my heart and hope that my parents aren't reading this. For the half truth they got from me yesterday, I swear they will just flip. I would think quite a few of us are guilty of this.. saying anything but that we were going night cycling. ( which would entail going on the roads and praying hard that your ass doesn't get nicked by any random passing vehicle)

All raring to go off from ECP, waiting for the bikes to pass the Eugene Ngai test and then happily putting our lightsticks on our bikes. We decided to have some fun with the light sticks..

We got off to a rocky start, having to cheong sua because there were some minor route problems.. Think carrying bikes and walking through lalang and crossing drains and going under highways.. All very army like I say. But it was fun roughing it out. I like.

boon,shangren,daniel

the night when 'slow' wasn't on the agenda..

From ECP to kallang to esplanade to labrador park to west coast macs to holland v to orchard to geylang to the airport runway and back to ECP by 6. It was a WONDER that we managed to last..
kallang by night where we interrupted alot of couples. i'm sorrrryyyyyy....

happy at geylang

while waiting for the first plane to take off... we all look like refugees

All the downhills were so worth the pain cheonging uphill. Halfway up, with burning quads, you know there's no way you can stop because it just makes the going even more difficult and the thing that keeps you going is keeping the top in sight.. that one line in the distance. ( it was actually midly fun seeing myself cheong and then pass the guys even. heh)Going down, sans brake-less, gives that heady rush to the head, that adrenaline rush and then you feel so free. And I couldn't help grinning to myself in glee as I went down, the wind in my face, my bike picking up speed.
(Though I suspect I probably wouldn't have been grinning as much if I figured out that I could have killed myself down that AYE slope outside NUS by going down the middle lane without brakes.)

Funny how little things reopen that drawer of memory and then gives your heart a little squeeze and you catch your breath.
that one night i recall.
that familiar gaze.

I never knew how special that time before dawn would feel. The cold breeze, the smell of the sea, the distant lights.
one of those special moments i wish i could keep and remember.
I would try to put how i felt into words, but it would be but a feeble attempt to describe the intangible.
Maybe I could blame the songs which were playing on my ipod, but i just felt like a hug right there and then.

someone to hold me tight and make me feel like everything would be alright.

**********
Its pretty amazing how days fill up slowly and gradually.
Like how i managed to drag myself out of bed on sunday night for thiam's and keat's birthday dinners. I admit, for all my reservations after not seeing this bunch of guys for so long, i was nicely surprised at the ease that everyone had. It felt like nothing had changed since those rg-sji days.

here's to old times

It was awesome to hang out at the coldplay concert!! booze in big gulp cups.. trying not to end up having my face in some guy's wild crop of curly hair.. (he kept backing into me).. singing along... taking lots of photos and videos..my only grouse is that.. THERE WASNT ENOUGH!

countdown!

yayness

this is an awesome shot. like it loads

mini rgs gathering

the dust is settling.
and i'm keeping myself occupied. i like. :) though my mummy amazes me with her utmost concern: not my safety. but rather how i keep getting myself darker and darker.
i think i'm strong. i am. right? and yet there's this ocasional moment where at the very core of things, there's vulnerability. like superman and his kryptonite.

its always nice and fun to do spontaneous stuff. i wish more ppl were like that. cool stuff.

and this has been a mother of an entry.

//Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah they were all yellow,

I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called yellow

So then I took my turn
Oh all the things I've done
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know you know I love you so

times like these

2006-07-01T21:17:00.000+08:00

Gone through the seemingly endless prep;getting high on the smell of glue and paint; the daily dry runs; worrying about the abysmal guy to gal ratio;evaluating the freshies during registration; surviving on minimal sleep; getting grouchy; daily gossips;running around from TH to law fac and back again;watching each day go past at some crazy speed.. and now, its all over.

Everything went by in a blur. I felt excited when the freshies first came in and i started spotting familiar faces, I felt like dying when i was running on minimal sleep and was just dragging myself all over the place. I felt all so ra-ra when my og was all so jock-like when it came to playing games. I felt at ease when i knew that i had people around who were so concerned for my welfare and offered to 'protect'.I felt so weird when i had to adjust to the idea that i was my ogl in rj's senior now. I felt that wave of nostalgia when i walked down the street along dbl o. Exactly a year ago, i was doing the same thing, just with different people and as a freshie and not a year 2. And i wonder where all the time in between went.

ice breakers n land tele

scavenger hunt..
where they came to strut their stuff

and pay homage to royalty...

jungle trek where my animaniacs ( yacko, wacko, dot and the nurse) did me proud. thanks guys for being such a sport.

thoughout this camp, i realized that so many people had those beer singlets...

universal studios where you saw ppl like never before

sun-kissed

then there was formal d

hum-sum boys

table photo

all girl photo.. or maybe not.

og photo

jonathan my ogl while i was in j1...

yacko and dot!

with the 2 hottest freshies..

lets go retro!!

This camp was as much a discovery for the freshies as it was for me and those around me.
its all so tempting to jump into the foray and give your 2 cents worth. But sometimes, you restrain yourself and know that you are not one to judge.

//it's times like these you learn to live again
it's times like these you give and give again
it's times like these you learn to love again
it's times like these time and time again

I am a new day rising
I'm a brand new sky
to hang the stars upon tonight
I am a little divided
do I stay or run away
and leave it all behind?

screwed up.
I never thought relationships between people were going to be so difficult to manage. What happened to the simple innocent thing of yesteryear?

Ignorance was bliss. While it lasted. And all of a sudden, i realize the joke is on me. I was naive, thinking everything was working out fine. All too easy. I was swept away by the tide of things. I wonder what it would be like if i saw this through cold clinical eyes.
I felt so damn vulnerable. The run did me good. I felt in control. Even for awhile. I found myself praying for strength to overcome the pain from those cramps.

Thank you for sounding the alarm. Thanks for semi-scolding me. and then, thanks for knowing who i really am and standing by me.
This is how things are really supposed to be aren't they. Who to trust. Who to believe. Who to place my faith in.

And then i don't think i know anything anymore.

i couldn't be more honest.

//don't leave me high
don't leave me dry

She's the man..

2006-06-24T21:13:00.001+08:00

in Jared's words, I'm "half a guy" already. I'm slowly morphing. *oh the horror* I've not gone shopping for the last couple of weeks and the great mango sale hasn't had an impact on me and my wallet. Or maybe its just a case of out of sight out of mind. It was how someone suddenly exclaimed during supper at Adam road last night that hey i was the only girl. But yes, the stuff I've found myself to enjoy are strangely guy-ish. Each night, I end up asking people if we're watching soccer tonight. And it is at this point in time that i say that i'm not turning into a guy because i still appreciate eye candy like the yummy spanish team. But i do know what is an off side! (stupid joel. underestimate me) I hang out with the guys and i'm starting to talk like them. Tsk.
And then there is the thing about me happily getting sweaty in the sun.. wanting to play soccer, floorball and what not. hey its lots of fun! And how i would gladly give up shopping for the beach.

I've come to enjoy watching soccer at the prata place. the crowd, the noise, how i can just cross my legs on the chair with my iced holicks and then scream like a mad woman each time there's a goal. Beats going to bars and pubs anytime. I think i've watched so much soccer everynight that i already know the same ol out of point advertisements they play at every halftime.

i'm sorry guys.. but this is frickin' adorable

( i stole this from wingyee
I like how there's an ease in calling friends down to hang out with other friends. Makes me all very happy. its always nice to have a fresh face around. I wish everyone worked the same way.

Sometimes i think i can get reaaally stubborn as well. or maybe it was just a matter of stupid pride. My calf muscles started cramping up today but i refused to stop and walk. I only stopped to stretch then continued running. Gloria Gayner's I will Survive saw me through. Ok, Today was one of those days when i wished i didn't have so much muscle on my calfs and i figured i was being really stupid. But i just didn't wanna walk. argh. But when i finally gave in to my legs and decided to stop midway and sit down n stretch, i realised how much i was missing just running along and not stopping at all for that wonderful sunset and breeze. it was like a moment for me myself and i. nothing else.
I haven't really had much time to do stuff like this the past 2 weeks or so. They just went by in a flash. In school for dry runs and such. Law camp is on monday and I'm officially a year 2. Up till now i still can't help but wonder where all the time in between went.. 1 year. 12 months. 365 days. A crazy number of things that happened in between...
One song. And i look back. We've come full circle.

this is what we do during law camp prep. Find lanyards and be cool!

And i stole more photos from my baobei:

//Follow your heart
Your intuition
It will lead you in the right direction
Let go of your mind
Your Intuition
Is easy to find
Just follow your heart baby

Girls aloud.

2006-06-14T10:35:00.000+08:00

It has been more than 9 months since I last went out with these 2 and i almost forgot how all of us seem to be on crack each time we get together. Alot of crazy loud shrieks, giggles and random rubbish. ponana!I think no one understands the statement that we've "changed alot but are still fundamentally the same"better than these 2.
After going one big round, we've met again.. all as swinging singles. I decided to drive them to rochester since i heard the waiters there and the chocolate cake were oh so yum. My dear madames.. were so tickled that i was their driver for the night. lots of giggles complete with a live commentary as i drove.

"ohh the food isn't here yet... time to take photos! oh the drinks aren't here yet... you know what to do!"

it was great chilling at the bar upstairs where it was quiet and cosy. It felt great. a real girls night out complete with the friendly bartender who was so endearing when he was so happy that he made the ikan billis with apricots in them. ( don't ask me why). We spent a good part of our time fishing out the apricot bits. He got even cuter when he refused to get us our bill until we tried his new concoction- tiramisu. lovely.

Babe, this is for you..

//I'm not waitin' around for a man to save me
(Cause I'm happy where I am)
Don't depend on a guy to validate me
I don't need to be anyone's baby
(Is that so hard to understand?)
No I don't need another half to make me whole

Make your move if you want
Doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up
You either got it or you don't

welcome back.

2006-06-13T00:44:00.000+08:00

Took the ECP to the airport today and watched the world go by. It might have been the double shot of cuppacino i had earlier. Or maybe it was just the sun, and the blue sky. Then i saw the skyline, the city across the water's edge, the palm trees lining the sides of the roads. My cd blasting.. I hadn't felt that way for ages, the dizzy burst of happiness coupled with that buzz of electricity in my tummy.I couldn't help but break out into song. ( i just have a nagging feeling i shouldn't have been snapping photos while driving)

But more importantly, my baobeis are back! My pillars of strength. I couldn't help but wonder at how we've grown and here i was driving down the highway on the way to be the first to meet up since they left last year. 3 girls, 3 very different lives but essentially the same strong ties we forged back in rgs.

babes, its time to paint the town red!

screams at the airport. a flurry of hugs.
here's to more air kisses

and OMG it was painful watching Japan get demolished by Australia. Sigh. -heartbreak-

//Since the moment I spotted you
Like walking 'round with little wings on my shoes
My stomach's filled with the butterflies
And it's alright
Bouncing round from cloud to cloud
I got the feelin' like I'm never gonna come down

goldeneye

2006-06-11T19:32:00.000+08:00

there's something about songs like these that i like. (buble's feeling good) all very bond-esque. But this video is kinda cheesy to say the least.

take me as i am

2006-06-10T09:52:00.000+08:00

Its already the middle of the hols. Its already June. And it really is weird hearing people address us as 'year 2s'. There is an unfamiliar ring to it. No more the "little" freshies we once were only 10 months ago. This 3 month break has been really fulfilling, trying new stuff and meeting new people and basically just enjoying life the way it should be.

I haven't held a job since the long break before uni started. It felt weird toying with the idea that once again i was a productive unit of society for a few days last week at the pc show selling magazine subscriptions for Stuff. It was perfectly tiring, being on my feet for 10 hours a day, buns for lunch, smiling too much, talking so much, shouting so much that it pretty much seemed very pasa malam-ish after awhile, dinner at 10pm every day. But on the other hand, i had so much fun, getting to meet new people ( those nice ppl at the nec and creative booths. ppl i usually wouldn't have had a chance to talk to) Plus, I had really nice bosses, being so nice and encouraging about things and even treating us to dinner when they saw us being bleagh about stuff. Meeting familiar people at the fair kept me going throughout the day. I always felt so happy when they stopped to say hi. So yay to my first experience in sales.
tavia and christina

When this hols first started, i was actually worried that i wouldn't have things to do but i've been filling my days with things to do. I like the feeling when i wake up and lie in bed and mentally run through the days activities. It gives me a quiet thrill when i know that there will be fun with friends. I wouldn't know what I would do without them.Been going back to school quite abit, helping huiling for rag and doing props as well. Nothing much and yet its always nice to meet friends again. And now, I've started on new stuff, like my ballroom dancing classes and hopefully wakeboarding next week.

I like birthdays and what was supposed to be a tg celebration became a tioman bunch gathering to celebrate becky's birthday. We went to ms clarity cafe which gave me the shock of my life. The neon walls, the vibe of the place, in boon's words, "hello kitty gone mad", plus, omg. i SWEAR the waitresses there are on crack or something. By the end of the night i was abit high as well. goodness gracious me.. the choc cake was oooh la la. Solid stuff.
pink madness

happy birthday becky!she blew all the marshmellows off her cake la. wasted.

the girls

all together now!

It was my dear friend's birthday this week and Boss effectively had 3 celebrations. You lucky person. Better be appreciative. So in honour of Boss, he got a Happy Father's Day cake and a Hello Kitty balloon and on top of that a good stripping. Guys never change.
jared and i happy with our purchase

boss with his balloon and cake

And after a million years we finally got our asses down to Zouk. And i blame all the alcohol i drank because now i'm on the verge of losing my voice. Though having a flaming sambuca was an experience. Many thanks to the boys for making sure i didn't get lost or trampled upon. I now proclaim Mambo a very happy place. I was absolutely thrilled when they played Grease. Omg. My kinda song! I used to shamelessly sing along to Oliver Newton John's " Hopelessly Devoted". There's an old soul in me i swear.

Boss' celebration part 3! Glad everything went smoothly though i thought he actually saw through my plan. Anyway, Boss, i hope you had fun and please ah... must wear what you bought from topman alright. Someone is sooo going to thank me. :P

rgs girls

smile now!

I'm thankful for a friend willing to do impulsive things with me and just keeping it real. No questions asked.
I wish just sometimes, people wouldn't judge just based on what they see. Its hard i know. But you don't understand till you hear it from me. Straightup.
But We're all fallible, aren't we?

//She's been down and out
She's been wrote about
She's been talked about constantly
She's been up and down
She's been pushed around
But they held her down NYC
She has no regrets
She accepts the past
All these things they help to make she
She's been lost and found
But she's still around
There's a reason for everything, yeah

You know I've been holding on
Try to make me weak
But I still stay strong
Put my life all up in these songs
Just so you can feel me
So you can get the real me

And I just wanna fly.

2006-05-31T22:48:00.000+08:00

Its always nice to be kept occupied, esp during this long holiday. It makes time past faster and it always feels good going about with a purpose. This is the time to try new things and just pack my days with fun stuff to do, find that warm fuzzy feeling when you meet old friends,spend time with not-so-old friends...
i like doing things spontaneous. like randomly deciding to visit our favourite waitress and friends at wine company.
carrie

I love the quaint setting and atmosphere. Just makes me wanna sit around and chat and not leave. I think I found my dose of happiness this holidays, called chocolate lava cake. Puts nothing less than that happy grin on my face. That sugar rush which gives me the giggles.

i like that odd tingling sensation down your spine when you think about possibilities.. and the all time adrenaline rush. my favourite. i get it usually from my runs when i can.. but i re-discovered another possible avenue again. being huiling's crash bunny for rag. :) even though sometimes i get cold feet when i'm standing almost 2 m off the ground just balancing on the guys hands, i still love the adrenaline despite the pain.

but nothing beats the high i get when i get to the beach with fantastic weather.

i swear it all started with tioman.. and i never stopped thereafter. there's something about the sun at sentosa which makes all the colours so much richer and happier.

its a dog's life I brought dash to the beach for the first time and he got all the attention. Though at the very end of the day i think he came home with a whole lot of new names and new skills which included hunting and cornering chio-bus and taupoking jared. that silly boy got scared of the waves! But he was the most adorable/good looking thing ever.

though, my dear darling boy really needs to learn self-control. esp when it comes to the drool. down boy.

the girls

it was the perfect ending.

this came on my ipod as i lay there on the sand watching the world pass me by..

//I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me, princess, now when did
You last let your heart decide?

A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming

and i dreamt.
someone once told me there are easier ways to get an adrenaline rush but i realized that by taking risks in my life, i get the same heady feeling. it might be all well and good to think things through but not too much and attempt to plug every possible hole, back up plans will never end.. back up a backup plan. Sometimes, i just take the plunge and even if at the end of the road, i get hurt, i know i did what i felt was right for my heart at that point in time.

******
Tagged by Wing
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 points about his/her perfect lover.
2. Mention the gender of his/her gender.
3. Tag 8 victims to this and leave a comment on their blog.
4. If you are tagged a second time, there is no need to do it a second time.
5. The most impt part is having fun doing it!

1. motivated and driven. He's got to know what he wants in life and go for it. It'll be nice if he'll spur me on for the greater things in life.

2. He's got to know how to romance me, and when i mean romance, i don't mean the whole wine and dine affair. That is nice once in awhile, but i'm not high maintainance in that way. I'd rather he do something special like cook for me. It is the little things that count.The thought behind it which can make an otherwise normal day special.

3. he's got to know how to hold honest and frank conversations with me about anything. I would appreciate it much if he will tell me esp when something is bothering him. I like frankness and i'm not that soft. really. I can take it.

4.he's got to be emotionally in tune with me. be sensitive. i'm high maintainence in this respect. i don't deny.

5. but at the same time, he's got to be independent and have a life of his own. because i want mine. i don't want him there with me 24/7.. i'll be suffocated. Basically, a sensitive alpha male, yes sirreee.

6. he's got to be liked by my parents. its an important consideration since i'm really close to them.

7. he's got to be sporty/ spontaneous and willing to do stuff in the sun. take me to the beach, jog with me.. try new stuff with me!

8. he's got to be physically attractive to me. a lovely cologne helps. cute with a toned bod.. wheee....

tagged.

2006-05-27T11:14:00.000+08:00

Name five of life's simple pleasures that you like most, then pick five people to do the same. Try to be original and creative and not use things that someone else has already used:

1. runs at my reservoir. i get beautiful skies each time and i love the feeling of being in control of everything. no one but me.
2. making people smile. it makes me happy too.
3. hugs. give me the warm fuzzy feeling.
4. sun, sand and sea. i love this combi and will not take anything less.
5. just being with the people who matter. that comfortable silence even if we don't talk.

and just because i'm greedy i'll add something else:
anticipation of the return of ppl i love.
and yes, my queens, i'll roll out the red carpet.

//I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how

You give me fever

2006-05-26T23:10:00.000+08:00

This is so so hot. someone romance me with this kind of intense passion as well..

.. and this is just sassy. sexy.

//what a lovely way to burn

Ice Ice Baby

2006-05-26T11:21:00.000+08:00

For the second time in my life, I went ice skating yesterday. It started out really cold at the rink but i think thereafter, i generated alot more heat screaming for help every 10 seconds and trying hard not to fall flat and the only method i know how to stop myself is to crash into people then hang on to them.
my wonderful friends who were always there for me...

NOT
I provided alot of entertainment for the nice folks i know from law school. They found a new doll for themselves yesterday. Instead of "press here for sound" it was like, poke her to hear short squeal, shake her to hear loud scream, take her on HIGH SPEED around the rink to hear prolonged loud scream.. you get the idea. And their wonder move: what happens when you put her in the middle of the rink?
One word: vulnerable

but its alright, i still love this bunch. Its amazing how they can make 1 day out with them so much fun.

Amazing what 1 token can do. Much entertainment with photo hunt!

this would have been a really nice photo if not for the hand

I love how things can be spontaneous at times.. like how we decided to go down to town for dinner where service at this place was TERRIBLE. i was prepared to smack them all. OR how we decided to watch the e 1045 x-men show and then go shopping prior to that. X-men was nothing short of enjoyable.. not because it was a mind-blowing movie but because the plot had so many holes it was bordering on the hilarious.I could predict lines.. I was trying hard not to laugh during emotional parts.. my dear friend was so freaked out by the number of needles in the show and how 'scary' it was, she was practically jumping in her seat in front of me and going 'farrrk'.. I think she was more scary than anything else. :P

I've been happy! like really happy.. :) i think i scared hanting last night in the cab last night just laughing alot on the way back.. sorry dude. heh. But when I think about certain stuff coupled with the fantastic weather, i.e. sun, i get this bubbly feeling within me and i just wanna smile.

//Everywhere I go
Every smile I see
I know you are there
Smilin back at me
Dancin in moonlight
I know you are free
Cuz I can see your star
Shinin down on me

Work it, Gal

2006-05-22T10:48:00.000+08:00

I've finished the entire cycle 6 of America's Next Top Model on youtube and I've been hearing the judges/photographers scream "work it girl!", "make it your own!".. ( i love that show. all the photo shoots and bitchiness going into overdrive)
Its been a tough past year and looking back, yes I did work it, and made it my own, no matter how many other people might have thought otherwise.I'm stronger and happier now. People change and so must expectations. I was disappointed but I saw the light.

But some things don't change. I've known this girl since the day i was born. Amazing how she used to bully me and scare the crap out of me while we were in primary school and now she's the sweetest girl ever. Funny how with certain people, its so easy to pick up where you last left off. No matter how long ago that last time was. Time doesn't seem to matter.
here's to many more years of friendship my dear tav..

I miss RJ! though i don't feel anything for the new campus. Its too big. the only memories i have of this new place is collecting my A level cert from there. Electrifying atmosphere i say, in every possible wrong way. whitened knuckles from too tight hand-holding, eyes wide opened, possibly blankness in the brain... i remember just going 'omg omg omg' when i got my results back from Prince. I had already mentally prepped myself for shitty results cuz i was almost dead that month. literally. because of tonsilities.

We went back on a very bad day. It was the one day study break. We couldn't get any luckier than that. But that didn't stop us from being photo whores and man, the first stall auntie remembers me!! YAY-ness.

no one's in and no entry to me

We managed to catch over the hedge and can i say, the sub-plot of the show must have been " 10 ways to kill a bunny"... in any case, it was a horribly cute show and funny one at that.

I did my usual grocery shopping for my mum, only thing this time, i had 3 helpers in tow... or maybe not.. balancing on the trolley.. making me take crazy photos..
supermarket sweep

And well, there was tofu boy.. but he's on his way to being tau kwa boy? ( colour difference right.. hur.) But its alright my level 1.__ friend, i lubch you still.. even though you suan me 5 min into each meeting we have. And i BLAME YOU for making me eat my BnJ ice cream when i got home today!!! You GOOD. spent a good part of the car ride home telling me about liquor shots on icre cream. PERSON, you better take me there ASAP!
But in any case, Thanks for everything, talking things through with me, listening to me rant, understanding me... Amazing how we always land ourselves up in similar circumstances :) Its ok, my friend, time will pass fast enough.. ;)

Went to school for Alsa.. and conducted ice breakers for them.. It was really nice to see them so enthu. though my heart went out to our poor mascot during the water game.
buangkok

my ogl for today:

this is such a cute photo!

yos!

***

i love the way i find myself when i jog. lately, I think i've found myself in the 'zone', getting stiches means more reason for carrying on and increasing the volume of my ipod. Rock/RnB thank you very much. And again, work it, gal!Just keep going. I've extended my route and its always so satisfying to get home even though i end up wishing i had someone to massage my legs after that. Its therapeutic. I don't give a damn if it means i'll get more muscular legs or something. I need the adrenaline rush.

I love how my days ahead of me seem to be filling up nicely. Its always nice to be busy. happy-busy. I remember my baobeis talking about it before. It makes life so much more fulfilling. (meeting up with old friends, on the look out for jobs, orientation, bonding with the bunch: sentosa, ice skating, jb, world cup suppers, stayovers...)

I love everyone who has crossed my path..Sometimes they fade away, and I just miss the memories..
and I'm missing people now.. half a world away. can't wait!!

//Oh, pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay..

Summer came like cinnamon, so sweet..

2006-05-18T11:02:00.000+08:00

I know I have friends I love. I have friends I know I can trust and depend on. This break is but a time to pick up from where we left off, and find each other again. I feel it in my bones. I've been suffering from withdrawal symptoms ever since I've been back. ( I know, yes, j chen, one more word, and you'll slap me) But one reason why I enjoyed myself so much yesterday was because it seemed that if i closed my eyes, I could almost feel back there again. Close. Almost. like paradise.
Friends, who find joy in wearing shades indoors. I quote: "sun too bright.." *whips out shades*. hurhur.

And because we love jared so, we decided to take a photo. Without him. while he was walking towards us.

The sun was good. The feeling was right. I found my favourite spot in Sentosa. Legs hanging off the edge. I think we found the balance. Throwing nukes at each other. (that is the epitome of our friendship.) Talking with a friend, I never quite got the chance to. Not quite the way we did yesterday. Both, missing the place we were just 2 weeks ago.
Tioman Buddies. I think the Tioman sun did us good. Brown as berries now we are. Though when you get back, my friend, you are going to be black.

But of course, as good friends, how could we forget.. our mission for the day.

glowing white is cool. But he needed a TAN. And help we gave.

Its ok. We never played 'colour'. We love you all the same. Really.

Everyone smile now!

Although guys may be 22, I swear they will forever be 16.

Sentosa should hire us for their adverts. This is the classic 'happy' photo.

I had the first ambulance ride in my life. It was an experience I must say. Though I apologize for getting the seat really sandy. Ali chia. please, no more turning around for you. f.r.a.g.i.l.e. i say. you sit down during law camp alright..

__________
Just a few days ago... our lawr tgs had a combined bbq.. Karen will be proud of us i think. :P all that drinking and rubbish.

It's going to be the World Cup really soon. And I can hardly wait. Just the other day I went back to my old place to clear some of my stuff and i found my rgs class video. I watched it again. It was World Cup fever during that time and our class did crazy ass things.. vandalizing the blackboard at the back of the class with names like oliver khan and attempting to cancel out others.. going down to padang to watch the semi-finals and screaming along with the rest of the crowd.. playing floorball almost every pe lesson then going nuts whenever we scored a goal ala world cup style.. 4 years has since passed, and yet everything is still fresh. Rg has really left a deep impression on me and helped made me the person I am now and provided me with many valuable memories. Back then, I thought that it would never end..problems i had then seem so trivial now.. They all faded to make way for something better..
I can't wait to go back to the new RJ with the bunch for good ol canteen food.
all things eventually straighten themselves out for the better. have faith.
Quote of the day:

//Sapphire, and faded jeans i hope you get your dreams
Just go ahead, let your hair down
You're gonna find yourself, somewhere, somehow

this love.

2006-05-15T00:36:00.000+08:00

I know ever since exams ended my blog has been a hodgepodge of photos. But really, photowhoring has its merits. Trust me. it does. I've been talking love since I went to Tioman. Talking about love within the circle of trust, thinking about a non- existant lover to share future holidays with, thinking about the meaning of love. So as of now, I would like to introduce everyone to the Man in my life. He's horny. But he's handsome. And sometimes, he gives you the one look that will melt your heart and make you want to just hug him. Oh so true from what I know about love.

You wanna know what makes me go weak in the knees? A guy like that:

yes. hubba-hubba. That fine body and that chiseled looks. But I've come to realize, Singapore most unfortunately does not produce guys of such fine quality. So.. damn. But what gets me weak.. besides a nice bod in nothing but a pair of jeans, is his cologne. Get a good cologne and its an added incentive to make me wanna just snuggle in his arms, and just breathe him in and feel safe. But yes, enough about my fantasies about guys. I'll let you in on another fantasy of mine: I've always wanted to dress like this, boots and all.

This is what i think is hawt and cool all at the same time. But unfortunately, boots in Singapore are just poseur. So someone give me an excuse to wear boots. Send me to a place with weather cool enough for this and fashion, haute enough.

I've always been a bloody romantic. If I could, i'll live on love alone. Bollocks, you tell me. But its true, and when I mean love, I don't just mean love a guy can give, but love from family and friends as well. And so I had a JC class gathering on saturday night and was pleasantly surprised with the turnout and conversation. People always tend to judge so fast but I'm glad for people who know me for who I am and realize that i'm still the same girl they first knew. In turn, I appreciate them for who they are, no matter what. Everyone is nice. One way or another. You just have to look hard enough. Which brings me to the next bit, that I'm forever too trusting and in the end, I feel too much and make myself more vulnerable than needed. But I digress.

a01b at giraffe:

people, please tell me the dates you are free so i can plan for our trip.
a01b and prince

I'm amazed at prince's wonderful memory.. everyone's usual seating position and even weixian's scrawlings on the dingy ts walls.

Me: mike, get someone to take photo for us.
Prince: A photo.
Prince: lawyer.. lets not lapse into singlish here.
Me: Sorry mr prince
Prince: continue and you'll be on my death list.
Me: yes mr prince
Me: sorry mr prince

Jireh, this is for you.. i know you read this.

Its been awhile since we've been out like that.. and it sure feels good to do so:
happy mothers day!

i blame the red wine which made me sleep the afternoon away. But the service was tops!
A secret enclave. A rather ulu location where my uncle opened his restaurant and its really really nice. :)

with mummy and daddy:

with queenie and emmie, my lovely cousins:

In the future, I'll love. the way i know love. Crazy. Passionate. Each morning I wake up, I'll feel like my heart is bursting with love for that person. Its then that i know i'm in love when I want to share my life with him and put his happiness above my own. Giving is always better than receiving.

//I'm tellin' you my babe, its all in the game of love--

--Is
Whatever you make it to be

For the sun, sand, sea and love.

2006-05-12T19:53:00.000+08:00

I'm back from tioman and there are so many reasons why I want to be back there again. I hate the weather here. It rains and its humid. I don't get to have fun in the sun. I'm not greeted by the smell of the sea the moment i open my room door every morning. Its too crowded back here and everyone is in the wrong attire. I miss feeling like i owned a piece of that island paradise. Mine and mine alone. I miss staring out into space from time to time and thinking about things. The wonder of the open sea.I miss that romantic feel even though i didnt have my prince charming with me. dammit. to whoever my prince charming might be. out there somewhere. one day we're so going to have to go on a beach holiday. I miss having everyone in the room in their usual spots falling asleep one by one over alcohol and lots of junk food. Circle of Trust. I never thought my tg would bond this well.. but we did and i'm thankful for that.And now i've got a fantastic tan and gorgeous photos to show for it. Here's to Swamyboo and Partners:

room with a view:

frolicking in the sun. The best way to get a tan and this patch functions as a catwalk runway during low tide. I miss sitting around in the water and sharing love stories with the girls.

The pseudo SMU shot.

flower girls

The pool was our daily essential. the slide which was actually meant for kids aged 15 and below.discovering our private tanning area. Becoming regulars during happy hour and making friends with the bar tender. the daily fries and alcohol. Being backup singers for the band that played.

so happy together.

happy hour

snorkling was one hell of an experience.so many fishies!!!!especially when we started feeding them with bread. and scary sea urchins which seemed to stare at you as you swam past with the orange and blue eyes. we managed to find Nemo and a puffer fish as well! we liked it so much we went back 2 days in a row.. even braving the rain for a bit on the second day.

lost at sea

dinner which was good and cheap! and did i mention... alcohol is DIRT CHEAP!

tanning fervour:

Bye tioman!

came back and went for carrie's and joel's birthday celebration. felt like ages since i last saw everyone..

the guys suck at photowhoring..

leave it to the girls.

//I'll fix these broken things
Repair your broken wings
And make sure everything's alright//

Woke up this morning..

2006-05-07T12:00:00.000+08:00

.. feeling a tad bit emo. a tad bit nostalgic.

I miss you flor. Known you since we were 6 and that makes our friendship a total of 14 years. From the days when we were running around in pinafores and ugly specs, attending birthday parties, to getting into RG and then being in the same class for 4 years, in the same cca, bitching to each other;the frequent postcards; the occasional period when we went gaga over something;then RJ together in interact. Babe you've seen me through my bad patches and my happy times. Thank you and I love you. so much.

I miss you wing. like hell lots. I have not talked to you in ages and the last time we did talk online I was just so glad that you still understood me terribly well and sent me the song that I needed to hear. I thank PSB for getting us closer. Working together in the PSL room; all the times when we fretted and laughed over stuff in that smelly small room; when i used to fuss over everyone like a mummy; all the camps; all the laughter. How we went ice skating and you happily dumped me when some random guy tried to pick me up. THANKS. Do you remember the time when we went to the RJ track and just cried together one day over something that seemed to matter alot back then but not anymore... how young we were back then.. studying at the RJ canteen.. i love you babe and i miss you.

come back quick the both of you. i miss you 2! Its time to do alot of catching up. remember how we used to dream of getting married then meet for teas, and let our kids run around and play with each other. arrrrr...hurry up! fly back.

I even miss doing nonsense like these back in the ghim moh shack. how girls used to scale gates with skirts and risk giving a free show to passing cars or just random people standing around.

fillae melioris aevi.

it's over!

2006-05-05T01:17:00.000+08:00

no more mugging! for the next 3 months! and i will live in denial until the results come back.

When i got bored of mugging, i found interesting things like these:

my kindergarten photo! this is freakin cute. try and find rachel, fengyi and me. funny how we never ever ever knew.

When all mugging is over, its time to partaaayy and eat good food!
i love this photo.. pretty girls :)

attica:

and it was my first time at zouk (after attica!) and it was really good fun despite having to take care of drunk people who shout opposition members' names out from the car; who start singing suddenly and who waves at everybody. thanks eye candy for not losing me in the insane crowd! it seemed like half of law school was there...

i'm not coherent now and i'll just let the pictures do the talking and i will start planning how to enjoy life.

happy endorphines

2006-04-29T22:04:00.000+08:00

and so it is one down. and another 2 to go. this put me in a very happy mood last night. ( I know i know. its the night before crim) but my best friend's wedding is my all time favourite show. So i decided to watch the first half of the show because the second half will only make me cry. The idea of loving someone but then watching that opportunity to make things good pass you by and loving is really knowing when to let go. sometimes love just isn't enough is it? i'm still in denial. i'm still not watching the second disc yet.
This has to be one of my favourite scenes where george bursts out into song. I never knew rupert everett could sing so well. and darn, i wish he wasn't gay in the show.. RawR. But this scene is just, timeless. Enjoy and up the notch on the love scale.

Happy feelings continued.. notwithstanding a crim paper. I've become totally impervious to all feelings after any paper. Its just another one down. Its always fun to troop down and take up one loooong table at sushi tei and then proceed to make lots and lots of noise. I guess, red was THE lucky colour today and i love my girls in law school. (and eye candies too. ) :)

on another note, i can't believe i got all excited when i found out about dash's possible parentage/bloodline. My neighbour who is an experienced dog breeder came over to see dashy boy and said that he is a possible mix between a retriever and some korean breed. now, i've heard the bit about golden retrievers from quite a number of people. But the korean breed, now thats a first.So, i've found out. Dash is possibly and most probably a ,Korean Jindo. gee, my dog, is one exotic boy.
Pure bred Jindos which are actually hunting dogs, really smart, really agile. (some crazy fella clocked 35 miles per hour. how fast is that?) Jindos will test boundaries to establish themselves at the top of dog hierarchies--a true alpha dog--due to the way in which the breed evolved.If left alone by itself for a long stretch, it finds its own entertainment.They are independent dogs and have a will of their own.
these are the korean jindos:

this is MY DASH

see the resemblence?

i'm counting down and hanging on. i can't wait to feel the sun on my face. i can't wait to laugh and just have fun. no strings attached. i can't wait to give hugs. i can't wait to laugh with the people who matter.

Would you save me from this place… adore me
Until my body melts away… explore me
I'm makin' rainbows in my mind
To watch a new world, grow inside

Can I dissolve into you… yeah
Fallin' to this sky so blue

Sunrise, sunrise, sunrise
Can you feel it now?
Sunrise, sunrise, sunrise
Can you feel it now?

Can I dissolve into you… allow me
To fall into the sky so blue… surround me
With every color in your heart… to suit me
And we'll wake up, in the morning sun

Youtube is Evil II

2006-04-26T16:51:00.000+08:00

i love this song.He makes me wanna go be a bond girl.

Youtube is Evil..

2006-04-26T10:06:00.000+08:00

But this is so CUTE and HILARIOUS.

post legal theory

2006-04-25T00:29:00.000+08:00

no brain. no words. only pictures.

On the Eve of Legal Theory:

2006-04-23T21:15:00.000+08:00

Darryl, after tomorrow's paper, please throw all that you've memorized away. I pity your girlfriend, charmaine. :) Just cook.. no legal theory ok.

9:00:22 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: like.. the last line of your essay: "prof! help! i'm finnis-ed"
9:01:05 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: you see girl
9:01:09 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: i'm not from raffles
9:01:16 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: i'm not that smart
9:01:34 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: lol
9:01:37 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: no lar
9:01:38 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: nonsense
9:01:41 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: nothing to do with sch
9:02:08 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: it has SOMETHING to do with school
9:02:24 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: which is??
9:02:48 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: erm..you see, by being in a good school..you presuppose
9:02:51 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: 1you are smart
9:03:11 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: 2. recognising that the school admits smart people
9:03:36 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: macham rule of recognition and internal p.o.v.
9:03:54 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: by saying that something is a obligation
9:03:58 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: obligating
9:04:13 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: you recognise that that the ROR is valid
9:04:20 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: haha
9:04:27 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: and that the rule satisfies the ror
9:04:27 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: u make it sound like raffles is the ultimate ror
9:04:31 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: tsk
9:04:50 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: haha
9:05:07 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: but the ror doesnt mean that the school is good (efficacy)
9:05:21 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: but it merely says that the school is a school (valid)
9:05:23 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: hahaha
9:05:34 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: haha
9:05:35 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: ok
9:05:39 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: it is a social facta
9:05:41 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: our conversation is getting damned warped
9:05:43 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: and a convention
9:05:46 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: hahahaha
9:05:53 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: hahha
9:06:01 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: i think you have to think in a warped sense to do legal theory
9:06:05 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: u might as well say its in accordance with natural law..
9:06:12 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: why?
9:06:15 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: like the name raffles presuppose stuff
9:06:17 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: like first principles
9:06:27 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: of smartness etc
9:06:32 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: but it's not a basic good?
9:06:39 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: oh it is...KNOWLEDGE
9:06:40 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: knowledge la knowledge
9:06:41 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: haha
9:06:43 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: by finnis
9:06:43 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: omg
9:06:44 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: hahah
9:06:48 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: hahahahah
9:06:56 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: same wavelength!
9:07:06 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: hahahah
9:07:22 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: but here, you fail the practical reasonableness 2nd test
9:07:28 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: why so
9:07:30 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: no arbiitrary preference to any value!
9:07:46 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: you must pursue all basic goods
9:07:56 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: but doesnt it depend on individuals...
9:08:01 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: and that includes play
9:08:06 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: haha.hey.
9:08:09 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: raffles ppl play also hor
9:08:14 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: ...
9:08:16 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: right...
9:08:25 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: are you arguing policy?
9:08:28 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: ok.. maybe not as much as ac ppl
9:08:33 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: because it sure isn't a principle
9:08:37 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: what..
9:08:38 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: play?
9:08:49 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: because principles are based on justice and fairness
9:08:56 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: and?
9:09:05 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: the statement that 'raffles ppl play also'
9:09:19 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: so you are saying that because it's policy
9:09:27 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: policy when you pursue a social goal
9:09:32 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: which is to "play
9:10:02 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: that's why the theorist's name is dWORKIN
9:10:04 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: hahah
9:10:07 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: how ironic
9:10:10 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: omg
9:10:14 PM darilian@singnet.com.sg: this convo is too warped...
9:10:17 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: no wonder he turned out like that
9:10:22 PM wen_6c98@hotmail.com: weirdo

Thank god for the weatherman

2006-04-21T19:00:00.000+08:00

I've given up driving to the reservoir at my place. I decided that I shall just run there and back.
So it wasn't any different today.
Just that I took the risk of running with dark clouds already covering half the sky.
So, Just past the midway mark and running back, I saw lightning and heard thunder.
Damn. I easily had at least 1.5k to go. Fried bunny, by virtue of lightning or Soaked bunny, by virtue of rain wasn't exactly the most comforting thought. I was just cursing myself for all the smartness of making myself run all the way. No car. No shelter.
Didn't help that I was inflicted with a stich. At least the regulars didn't seem perturbed by the impending rain. ok so smiling at them helped ease the pain somewhat and the rain made me increase my somewhat snail-like speed. ( no pun k. in light of the war against snails and slugs. I tell you, throw a handful of salt and it'll be the end of it)
The strange thing was, on the way back the roads were wet.Which was all very strange.
1 half of my route couldn't be more than 2k. Which means the rain didn't touch my route at all.
The moment I stepped into the house, it started to rain.
Apparently it was raining like shit and the lightning was damn bad, according to my mum.
yayness to the weather dude.
Its still raining as I blog this. But the sun is out.

With any luck, I'll see a rainbow.

Not Quitting.Still Alive (and mugging)

2006-04-21T00:42:00.000+08:00

I know i'm seriously wonked when I find comfort in creeping downstairs at 12.30 am and then gleefully ripping open a sainsbury's tin of shortbread and realizing that they come in pretty shapes. and so take them upstairs with me together with a glass of milk to keep me going.
i'm running out of fuel.

But I'm still fighting. rAWR.
I need to morph from this :

to this :

Fight off legal theory monsters. hur.
talked to Darryl earlier and yayness. Do your best and just have faith.
We'll all be fine.

I'm hanging on and fighting strong.

2006-04-19T19:15:00.000+08:00

yesterday it rained. mist hung over the puddle-soaked ground. hanging on by a moment was on repeat. distraction.

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you....

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That can change my mind

its a beautiful song i realized.
i should play it during my wedding. or better still. my hubby should sing this to me. alright. to add to my list of requirements of my ideal guy. able applicants please tell me. hur.

today, the sun was out. pockets of cold air around and running through them and smiling 5 times ( i counted) at the other regulars kept me going. even that powered indian army regular ( i made that up. i assume he is. one half of that power packed army duo. i love the other guy's tan by the way), when we met for a second time smiled and pointed at his watch and gave me a thumbs up. yay.
pain but i found my drive today. to just keep going.

in other news, i shall play my part as marketing com. please come for LAW BASH

No Pride...

2006-04-16T02:48:00.000+08:00

I don't know why i suddenly thought of this when I thought that maybe I should just go to sleep instead of trying to finish up automatism. And so in the name of pride, i'm up at 3 am, automatim/illegal omission in front of me. But blogging. Pride is a nasty sin and it works nastily on your mind. Got back from dinner/magic fundoshi and ice cream with amogh, mike and weixian. it has been a long time since i last saw or spoke to them proper. ok. maybe even since we last got our a level results which is all very well said, DAMN pathetic. I learned alot of new things tonigh: that the japs have a very interesting attitude towards sex;fundoshi=loincloth;japs have a festival about some monster in some woman's v ;some erotic paintings were treated as lucky charms; and did i mention? japs have a very interesting attitude towards sex. But i think more importantly, i've learnt that friends don't disappear so easily (I was apphrehensive before I went to meet the guys.) and that friends are important. No matter what. So here's to more ao1b gatherings.

In karen's words, "Its amazing that one tg actually likes each other and works together. Its just... freakin amazing that 2 tgs actually like each other and work together..."

And so, we all went on a trip to gluttons bay to give karen her present, which i am very proud of, and give her a proper taste of local fare. " Carrot cake WITHOUT the carrot? SERIOUSLY?!" " Girls used to be TRAINED to peel prawns for the males" " Oh, geylang...40 dollars for 30min..." "there are the more exotic ones.. like the Venezuelans.. but you end up getting pirated ones.. maybe from the phillipines" I'm glad to have found a tg cool enough to hang out together and do silly stuff like taking the task of relighting the candle of the fondue upon ourselves, or attempting to toast marshmellows over the candle flame then watching it combust into flames instead and using the leftover choc to draw a smiley face on the plate and wait to watch the waitress' reaction when she collected it.

I've learned thus far that sometimes, there is a need to look beyond pride because its so easy to lick your wounds and nurse your pride and at times, you lose sight of the bigger picture, that sometimes, just forgive and forget and move on. Its time to make that leap of faith again. Its probably not easy but hell yea, stop denial and face what is really inside. I've pendulumned beween the extremes of listening to my heart and listening to my head, being tempestuous and reckless and being cautious and afraid. Sometimes Its not easy to find middle ground but:

be strong. live strong. and take heart in knowing that you were true to yourself
at least you learn even if you were wrong

I'm back to listening to my heart.

Legal Theory is screwing up my brain.

2006-04-12T12:25:00.000+08:00

many sides of me.

A re-ordering of affairs is in the works. According to Finnis' 7 basic goods or his 9 aspects of practical reasonableness? Seriously, it is not entirely bull, what these fellows say, though they do inspire much for future pet names, like Radbruch and Alexy. According to a couple of these dead guys,especially Finnis, there is always both an internal aspect, as when one strives to bring one's emotions into the harmony of an inner aspect of mind and an external aspect when one strives to make one's actions authentic, in relation to the rest of society.

So I've realized, that maybe I've been living, not as who I really am. That everything is really a facade, not in the sense that it is entirely false, but in the sense that the 'me' that everyone has been hanging out with is really a result of a conflict of the internal and the external. In the process of attempted self-determination, maybe I lost the plot with regard to self-realization and self-awareness. So there is this prenniel conflict and this is no exception. Trying to take the path of least resistence, and so there is this happy fluffy side of me that people come to know, and yet at the same time, I harden with the passage of time to protect what is really the marshmellow-softness of me inside. Its a practical move like how people obey unjust laws, just so as not to screw up the entire legal system (though i doubt that is the real reason). For the past few months, I've been on an emotional roller coaster that only a close few would know. If I didn't retreat into my shell, who was going to protect me? I suppose, previously, I always had a protector by my side, so I was free to be all soft and fluffy. But why want to expose when there is another alternative? At the same time, there is an attempt to live and not bother about what other people think. Being happy and fluffy was an attempt at trying to flesh out the more 'real' side of me but it got contaminated along the way.
I guess it came out all wrong.
Everything was just the result of contradictions.
At the end of all these, all I want to say is that the 'new' me doesn't mean that the 'old' me is dead. She's still in there somewhere. So don't come to conclusions on who I really am just yet. Hold your horses.

Disclaimer: This entry doesn't mean that I'm confused or unhappy alright. Quite the contrary in fact.

To an old friend, time doesn't validate friendship. I love you still.We'll catch up after the exams.
To another old friend, I think a good talk needs to be in the works. :)

Rule of Recognition

2006-04-10T21:14:00.000+08:00

That is Hart's interpretation of the ultimate rule of the legal system. To recognize the rules that impose obligations and which will be accepted by officials.

I now present the Rule of Mugging being the ultimate rule of being nowadays. To recognize the rule that imposes obligations on law students to mug for the exams, whether you accept it or not.

i love you

2006-04-08T12:00:00.000+08:00

because my camera drowned, and i'm fooling around with my dad's camera, i shall proclaim my love.
Dash used to look soooo adorable:

Now, he's a handsome kiddo. His first baby tooth dropped out and he's got another shaky one!

and i give you concrete evidence on why i love my reservoir. Everyday, a different gorgeous sunset.

on another note, guys are complete idiots sometimes.
I think i shall just love Dash.

love and lost

2006-04-05T23:52:00.000+08:00

Power Within. I have not heard this song in a long while until my girlfriend sent it to me and it has been on repeat ever since. She reminded me how memories feel in my heart. Warm, bursting with colour. I smile at the joy we shared and mourn for the innocence lost. The irony. How physical distance can make you feel close all at the same time. How she knew how I felt after everything, how i needed to find the power within. How much I realized I missed my girlfriends.
This may be cheesy but weren't we all suckers for this kinda thing a couple of years back.
I dedicate this to every one and any one who has stored away memories. Its time to revisit them.
I dedicate this to every one who at one point or another needs to find the strength and faith within.

you don't have to be afraid
we're here to guide your way
put faith in us
faith in your heart
we will light your way

we will find our shining star
if we hold on to our dreams
embrace each day with love and grace
experience life in your own special way
you are made for greaater things than this

when storms and dark clouds come your way
hold on as strongly to your faith
be strong and courageous in your heart
and you'll shine like a star
in the dark

i never thought i'll put this poem on my blog. The first time I read this was in one of my first lit papers, one afternoon in my memory. Never thought I would love it now.
Out of Danger
Heart be kind and sign the release
As the trees their loss approve.
Learn as leaves must learn to fall
Out of danger, out of love.

What belongs to frost and thaw
Sullen winter will not harm.
What belongs to wind and rain
Is out of danger from the storm.

Jealous passion, cruel need
Betray the heart they feed upon.
But what belongs to earth and death
Is out of danger from the sun.

I was cruel, I was wrong -
Hard to say and hard to know.
You do not belong to me.
You are out of danger now -

Out of danger from the wind,
Out of danger from the wave,
Out of danger from the heart
Falling, falling out of love.

- James Fenton

what is it with first loves.
that one odd feeling that won't go away.
every word, taken and twisted.
like a moth i fly to the light. and get burnt.
tell me when will i learn. and stop.

let's paint the town red.

2006-04-03T20:29:00.000+08:00

Paintball was fun! The girls prob dont have that many a battle scar to show since becky and i pretty much hid and sniped. (hey we weren't too bad..shooting down targets and i shot jon lau i think. hur)I think jared and jon lau got it the worse. As the guy said, "sunday lovebites".
Many thanks to Karen who so happily joined in the fun and provided more ammo for us.
i give you good reason not to mess with a girl

team tg 13

we all look outfield.

all ready for a fight:

Jared has a habit of popping up in photos not meant to include him: (ie. 'kinky' photos and tg photos. :P)

I am in love with Scotts 28! dammit.
cleopatra and the divas on the red sofa/girls in the mini pool which is gorgeous by the way

tg 13 at the multi-purpose room

and now its time to mug and get fit.

fridays are always good to me

2006-04-01T22:38:00.000+08:00

Jared, this one's for you. Hope you enjoyed your surprise filled day:

the whole process of waiting for shoo to take jared away just so all of us could squeeze into law club room
the birthday boy.

all squeeze!

this was an attempt at spoiling the photo because of...

my having to take a photo with jared's shoe instead of kalyn's pretty face.

happy birthday!

brokeback!

then there was the dinner [where there seemed to be sentry posts all over. and random heart attacks just so to avoid shoo and jared in the car park. i'm positive i accelerated and went against traffic flow. thank god there were no cars]

In various states of cuteness:

this is absolutely priceless.

eye candies! -kai.

there was lots of drinking post dinner.. among the guys that is, in an attempt for more brokeback action. [i'm actually worried about spending my 21st birthday with friends like these. but i still love you guys. :) ]
------
how things change. why do people cause hurt to avoid hurt themselves.
fate, serendipity, destiny. how much can you take hold of and take control?

Dear X (as much as a person like V),

2006-03-31T00:30:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, there is only so much to looking and trying to make believe.
As much as I might like to believe that I'm strong and tough and all, I'm still vulnerable.
And It doesn't take much for me to understand that. ( i'm still that emo kid, they say, underneath it all. i'm still the girl who needs to be protected from the rest of this 'evil' world. )
I'll embrace this vulnerableness of mine and tonight, I couple that with a prayer.

There’s a saying old says that love is blind
Still we’re often told, seek and ye shall find
So I’m going to seek a certain lad I’ve had in mind
Looking everywhere, haven’t found him yet

He’s the big affair I cannot forget
Only man I ever think of with regret
I’d like to add his initial to my monogram
Tell me, where is the shepherd for this lost lamb?

There’s a somebody I’m longing to see
I hope that he turns out to be
Someone who’ll watch over me
I’m a little lamb who’s lost in the wood
I know I could always be good
Someone who’ll watch over me

Although he may not be the man some
Girls think of as handsome
To my heart he carries the key
Won’t you tell him please to put on some speed
Follow my lead, oh, how I need
Someone to watch over me

Maybe, one day i'll find what I want and need.
Love,
Me

take me out

2006-03-29T18:28:00.000+08:00

the new supreme court is a travesty. the aliens just landed.

but in any case, law school has been treating me alright.
i'm thankful for the friends i've made and getting to know better. law school is tough and at times unforgiving and at times just pure insanity but at the end of day, law school is what you choose to make out of it. and i'm very much less of a cynic than many other people. i'm basically still like a 'care bear': everything is still nice and the flowers are still in bloom.
and with the exams nearing, i know we'll all make it through. -big hug to everyone-

(i'm in love with my dad's car. 6 cylinder engine feels so good. i'll drive a powerful car and listen to the likes of nickleback.)
i want the sun and the beach resort. please.

2006-03-29T18:27:00.000+08:00

carrie ah carrie. i don't know what you're doing.

2006-03-29T18:20:00.000+08:00

the many sides of twee.

2006-03-29T18:18:00.000+08:00

the ahlian and ah beng lawyer

2006-03-29T18:15:00.000+08:00

a day in court with huiqing and becky: we get charged and then get called up to the witness stand [bad law students, we have been]

2006-03-29T18:06:00.000+08:00

carrie and kal walk off to a fight//guess they decided for an out of court settlement.

2006-03-29T13:52:00.000+08:00

Rules:
1. Bold the following words that are true about you.
2. GREEN the things you wish were true.
3. Add one thing true about you4. And then tag one, two, three,four, FIVE more people.

I miss somebody right now.
I don’t watch TV these days.
I own lots of books.
I wear glasses or contact lens.
I love to play video games.
I’ve tried marijuana.
I’ve been in a threesome.
I’ve been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes. (its law school i tell you)
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. (how very true)
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I’m TOTALLY smart.
I’ve broken someone’s bones.(how about, i've broken my own bone. well, almost)
I’m paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast/unclear.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D.
I like the way I look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings. ( when i PMS)
I have a hidden talent.
I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have alot of friends.
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone. (*Depends who the person on the other line is but nothing beats face to face communication.)
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants. (how about shorts)
I love to shop.
I enjoy window-shopping.
I would rather shop than eat.
I don’t hate anyone; I dislike them.
I’m a pretty good dancer.
I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God. (*But not religion per se.)
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I’ve rejected someone before.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I’ve called the cops on a friend before.
I’m not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have made a move on a friend’s significant past or crush in the past.
I own the “South Park” movie.
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I have dated a close friend’s ex.
I am happy at this moment!
I’m obsessed with guys.
Democrat.
I am punk rockish.
I am preppy.
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I’ve ever met.
I can work on a car.
I love my job.
I am comfortable with who I am now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.(like squirt)
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I’m proficient in a musical instrument. (my piano competency ain't great)
I worked at MacDonald’s restaurant.
I hate office jobs. ( i need something interesting)
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went to college out of state.
I like sausages. (i love meat)
I love kisses.
I fall for the wrong people.
I adore bright colours.
I can’t live without black eyeliner.
I don’t know why the hell I just did this stupid thing. ( i did it for nadia)
I usually like covers more than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can’t whistle.
I can move my tongues in waves, much like a snakes slithers.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I’ve ever written in.
I can’t stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep. (*Sometimes...and it’s usually gibberish.)
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distraction.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past time. (*Used to climb our mango trees when I was young.)
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I can’t stand at LEAST one person I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
I’m an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex. (hell yes, what about love. my girlfriends: nad, wing,flor,kal,carrie,germ,al...)
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie.
I have ridden an elephant.
I love chocolates!
I go to school NOT for the sake of lessons. (sometimes. )
I feel crazy.
I love tomatoes!!
I like peanut butter on bananas. (i have not tried this per se. but i've tried peanut butter banana sandwich. and its good)
Been told “You’re on fire!”
I’m a netballer.
I believe in Serendipity. (i'm a romantic.)
I think the word ‘RASPBERRY’ is sexaaay!
I love to look at people’s teeth.
I don’t wanna grow up. ( or rather, i would wish for time to slow down.
I can cross my eyes n stick out my tongue n still look cute.
Gaining weight is a wonderful thing.
I am a PRO…procrastinator.
I love listening to gossip.
------------------
i might as well add in more stuff:
i love to day dream about romantic stuff.
i want the nickleback cd.
i want the rayban shades.
i love cars with powerful engines. don't mess with me.

Your Honour, May it please the court...

2006-03-26T12:57:00.000+08:00

My name is Ong Wentu and I am here before this court today in my personal capacity. I would respectfully like this court to rule that having the moots was a wonderful thing on the basis that firstly, tg 13 made it so much fun just by virtue of being themselves, and secondly, this moots, i believe, has brought my tg very much closer and lastly,my moot partner has been the nicest.

Your Honours, my first submission is that tg13 has been a wonderful tg.

How we have progressed from the first day we started on our moots, the encouragement and helping each other. All the laughs and bitching. Your Honours, I believe I do not need to elaborate with regard to this point.

With regard to the second point your honours, I believe that the whole process of moots has brought the entire tg much closer together. Lasting through 6 hour long practice sessions together, questioning people rapid-fire, going through some drama during the immediate runup to the actual thing, and then going to court with a strong show of solidarity and support on the actual day.And your honours, I am not Lavan's fanclub president with a sunflower. ok. (maybe in secret)

lavan's fanclub:

Furthermore your honours,our tg scooted off for a scrumptious dinner at chijmes. i think all the fun is evidenced in the photos:
on the way there

dinner!

photowhoring in the toilet:

take your pick.

Your Honours, my last submission is that my moot partner has been wonderful.. bothering with my whinings online,helping me plug holes with my argument, sticking that post it on my rebuttal paper during the moots ( even though you silly pokanana. you reused what i wrote to you.), pre and post moot meals.. taking me up on a crazy carpark dare.. thanks so much.

the one time i see my moot partner look so good. (don't whack me! remember your motto yesterday: much love)

with the opposing counsels :)

In conclusion your honours, I miss the moots. Its like the whole process of going to war: suiting up and preparing, going through it bruised and and battered but still standing then coming out of it satisfied. My motto yesterday: charm and kickass.

P.S to tg 13, emails regarding a chalet and present for karen will be going out soon.
P.P.S drivers should not mess with me on the road just because 1. i'm a girl. 2. i'm a newbie driver. heh.

2006-03-22T22:10:00.000+08:00

our last 6 hour long moot prac and we're both certain we're the judge's favourite(s). i think i'll actually miss it because its actually pretty fun. hurhur. unbelievable. and for one thing, the judges did not explicitly tell me not to act cute ok.

to my moot partner

2006-03-22T08:37:00.000+08:00

someone remind me not to be cute during the moots.
Be more assertive. rawr. otherwise i doubt even a stellar reubuttal can save my ass.
-whimper-

you are so beautiful to me.

2006-03-19T14:57:00.000+08:00

Coms ball was held at Shangri-La last night which was a fitting ending as i laid my memorial to rest for the last time. But more importantly, it was the end of a chapter for the guys and a start of another. While watching the videos made by the guys, i could actually find something i could relate to.

" at the start, all you want is for it to end. But when it does, you want to go back to the beginning."
My sentiments exactly. Each time we bitch about school about life but when that phase of life has ended. Wouldn't you give anything to go back to put things right, to experience each laugh and each tear again?All we have are memories, treasure them cuz the road ahead is lonely. Capture each memory like a snapshot. Memories age like wine. They get sweeter as time passes. 3 more years before we all start working. But what wouldn't i give to stay where i am now. 'Tis so easy to get lost in the conundrum and lose sight of things. So simple to whine and lament about things and fail to see where they fit in the greater scheme of things.

And as trite and cliched as this may sound, i'll live each day to the fullest so that at the end of it all, i'll have something to show for my life thus far.

2006-03-19T14:56:00.000+08:00

nic, my date and old friend of 5 years.

2006-03-19T14:44:00.000+08:00

law sch gals. becky/jackie/rachel.

2006-03-19T14:36:00.000+08:00

tg 13 girls looking smashing.

2006-03-19T13:46:00.000+08:00

keat. tsk. so nervous around his date.

2006-03-19T13:45:00.000+08:00

max. the next posterboy of saf.

2006-03-19T13:40:00.000+08:00

arhh. amos so cute! like small boy. :P/ yanrong waaay back from st.nicks.

2006-03-19T13:30:00.001+08:00

russell gets not 1...

2006-03-19T13:30:00.000+08:00

but 3...

2006-03-19T13:28:00.000+08:00

anuja!!! i can't believe i met her there. its been a looong time. since those raffles days.

2006-03-19T13:27:00.000+08:00

fellow table friends.

2006-03-19T13:26:00.000+08:00

friends and dates. :)

2006-03-19T13:22:00.000+08:00

iquote anuja: "photowhore.photoslut.whatever"

wham bam thank you mam

2006-03-11T23:41:00.000+08:00

dear wing, i believe your baozhas are unrivalled. and besides i haven't been all that happening. moots and whatnot have been taking up a good part of my life. imagine 6 hour lawr sessions. damn bad. and you know that moots are slowly filling up the entirety of your brain when your conversations with friends eventually lapses into addressing each other as "your honour" and "counsel". hur. aint funny.
i've started to appreciate my time in law school. i remember being very defensive everytime someone said something provocative/gunpowder laden. but now i pause and think before i say anything. i take the persuasive approach. thank lawr.
there was a point in time recently, when my friend and i concurred that life was getting stale. there wasn't much fun. but i think today was a good load of that for me. :)) law sch games which got me burnt. but it makes me happy. having fun in the sun is a good antidote for anything. :
boon and daniel.

girls. permanent fixtures on the field.

frisbee team. nad you ah. come there just to be in the photo. :P

all in all frisbee was really fun. even though one particular match was quite scary. so xiong.
then there was commissioning parade where i felt like a damn proud parent. all those small cute boys. hur.

justin

big-butt-geylek-nic!

keat loon who lost his cap in the midst of all the cap throwing.

audrey! it was a mini law sch girls gathering.

from left: Russell. parade commander!( girls goin to law sch in 2 years, watch out. he's a charmer)Keat Loon, Justin, Nic. parade 2ic! :)) -beams-. so proud of you guys.

i'm a happy sun burnt bunny.

of men and mice, of love and lies

2006-03-04T19:49:00.000+08:00

that feeling of being young and old at the same time comes creeping in.
he looks like he is ready to jump off and take flight and navigate with his big ears. never mind that he could well possibly bounce off the ground as well. and i want to be able to do that as well. to jump off the edge and feel the heady rush. but i've gotten old. known the meaning of pain and i hesitate.

i felt the process of growing old: being hit by waves of nostalgia ever so often. hearing about the release of the A level results, knowing that the j3s are going through the exact same thing i experienced a year ago. the adrenaline rush, the tears before and after. i know i'm getting older when i feel that proud welling of my heart when i know the j3s bettered our 'best in 20 over years' results and feel goddamn proud to be a rafflesian. And how things have changed. i heard on the grapevine that rj now has its own atm machine and subway and sushi.

law school is a landmine. learn fast and remember hard. the work load is unrelentless. navigate your way through a tricky web of relationships and yet run the risk of stepping on a landmine and have that blowing up in your face. law school is unforgiving. I feel raw in doing all this. It was never this way for me previously. I guess i still have lots to learn. for all those times i yearned for someone to hand hold me, i guess, the best person to do it is still myself.

love is a tricky topic. i've had alot of revelations about love in the past months. that sometimes, love really just isn't enough to keep 2 people together. that sometimes, honey, all you need is to lower expectations and be realistic. something's gotta give. that maybe i've been not quite the low maintenance girl i thought myself to be. that maybe on this playing field, there has been enough debris. and it should stop. that i pray one day i don't discover a love locked inside of me all this while and not know. that it is possible to have more than one person in your heart at a time. being a good law student, i justify my statement from lavan's blog:

"The one you are with should be the one you love the most. But the ones whom you have loved before, you will find that you still have space within your heart for each and every one of them.

How naive it would be to think that a limit could be pegged on the heart's capacity to love and contain love. The human heart, like Love itself, is boundless."

jamie cullum couldn't have put it any better:
too young to hold on
too old to break free and run

oh how i need someone to watch over me.

2006-02-22T01:29:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i feel like everything is blurring up and losing focus. Just like one of those pretty artistic things. Or like one of those ending, parting shots where everything fades. Funky.Not. It may seem all fine and dandy sometimes to be carried with the flow. Just let things be they say and time will tell. But doesn't it come to a point in time when it doesns't get quite so pretty and fun anymore?
One limp body. Carried by the tide.
A flailing hand that droops.
Eyes wide open, Head turned to the side.
To avoid.
To be content.
Because there will be a destination.
I am no longer satisfied with what i have. I want more. and cue in the little mermaid:
've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty
I've got whozits and whatzits galore
But who cares?
No big deal
I want more
i want more focus and discipline. Not to be distracted with the peripheral and to centre my attention on what is important. I want to feel that same drive i had during my pre A level days. i want something to motivate me. or maybe a someone will do.

this year is going to be a year of self discovery i fathom.

vertigo

2006-02-19T15:06:00.000+08:00

and so the memo has been laid to rest. for now. before it is resurrected from the dead( i've since condemned it. formatting it for 1 and a half hours was so not worth it) for the rewrite and then the moots.
the past week has been absolutely crazily a mad rush. I hardly remember anything clearly. everything just seems to be a rush of colours and pictures all put together to make one long day. explains the clear lack of words in recent posts. it is already the mid sem break and very soon it'll be the end of our first year in law school. -horror- which means that we are only getting closer to the end of all the happy school days and getting older. and getting down to the whole career thing, and eventually marriage. now i just get the feeling of wanting to backpaddle. can i? pretty please. j4s sounds so ancient. to think that my jc class is attempting to organize a visit to prince. i can't imagine.

there seems to be a need to grapple with change especially so lately. within myself. with others.
how word goes around so fast. how ppl judge.
how i want to break free sometimes.
someone take me to a good rock-and-let-your-hair-down-concert.

and so you're going to be the one to save me
and after all
you're my wonderwall